Monday, March 09, 2009

Photo Dump Day with Bonus Brain Droppings

I've been crazy busy, but have found myself with a minute or two. I'm power-blogging; cleaning the slate of all that can be blogged, moving all of my great ideas and some of my lousy ones into the done pile. Here goes!

I forgot to tell everyone that my friend Buffy, who just started her own Confectionary Arts Studio, gave me a bunch of the coolest cookies before Valentines Day. You could write on them with edible-ink pens. I sent about 5 of them in care packages, and distributed the rest to soldier's children, mothers, and fiances, to write their own love notes on. Here's mine, to Brian:

The "Be Good Like Jesus" sentiment is a running joke between us; I got him this t-shirt for Christmas.

I started a stampede last week, when I stepped into the backyard to take pictures of these dear deer. They're never out when I have the good camera with me. Someday I will post an AMAZING photo of a deer, I just know it. IN the meantime, here's what I got:

With my Mom and my sister's permission, I recently took possession of my mother's old cast iron frying pan. This thing sat on the stovetop for most of my childhood years, never being put away. It had seen better days, but Clint is the King of restoring cast iron. The photo below was taken after the first round of restoration.

And, after two weeks of soaking in Easy Off, wrapped in plastic bags, elbow grease, copper brushes and scrapers, spraying and soaking again, and a bit of a hot oil treatment, here's Mom's fry pan, restored.

I love cooking in it, and Clint taught me how to take good-good care of it so that it stays in shape for the rest of it's life, which will probably be longer than the rest of my life.

We had a blast at Angie's wedding shower yesterday. We used Moscato D'Asti to make raspberry mimosas, and got that party started. Here's everyone drawing on their heads. The assignment was to draw Angie's dream campsite. The results were amusing and amazing. One of the ladies actually managed to draw a camper, 4-wheeler, boombox, and cooler. She actually wrote "cooler" inside of the box she drew. While drawing on her head. Suffice it to say that most of the rest of ours weren't that accurate.

Try it yourself. Put a paper on your head, draw something, then post it on your blog. DO IT!

Up next was the toilet-paper wedding gown game. We established our teams, then called over to the house and told the guys to send 2 volunteers over. We might have tricked them by saying we need to move a table or something. Let's just say they weren't really expecting a TP ambush.

Aren't they stunning? Homer (left) was the winning bride, despite Ryan's adorable mules.

As Seen on TV! God, I want all that stuff, that "As Seen on TV" stuff. I want ShamWow, and PediEgg! I want it all. I finally broke down and bought "iSlice" the other day.

(There's my toes, too).

I needed iSlice. You know, for cutting coupons and wrapping paper...and...1000's of other uses, like the label says.

It Opens Difficult Plastic Packages!!! Unfortunately, I could have used one to open this difficult plastic package; I had to hack into it with a chainsaw.

Also, IT DOESN'T CUT YOUR FINGER! God, how I want to see if I can cut my finger with that thing. For someone that can't stand blood, I'm still drawn to making it cut my finger, just so I can write a letter to the company or something, and say "it does too cut my finger."

My report: I love this thing. I wrapped a lot of stuff with it this weekend. It seems to only cut one layer of paper, too. I practiced on a scratch pad; it doesn't cut through the second page. How does it know? It's a miracle. They should advertise on TV.

Well, that's all for the photos, but I do have a few brain droppings:

1. Remember the soup Post Office nazi that I wrote about earlier? I forgot, and went to her post office last week. I had a handcart with 5 boxes on it. I set 2 on the counter in front of her, holding the others back until there was room. She totaled up the first one and said "will this be all?" I smiled and said no, I want to mail these 4 boxes also. She said "Will you hand me one?" I picked up the box sitting 3 inches away from her and put it in her hands. Always such an odd experience with her.

2. I finally used part of a Salon gift certificate that Clint had given me 2 Christmases ago. I'd held off since we were under construction for the last year, but decided to treat myself to a Spa mani/pedi on Valentine's day. BZZzzt!!! The technician sanded off the top of my toe, and the nail polish, even after hours of drying, never set up. The grand total for my mani/pedi was $89!!!

Ya'll know that's too much, right? I could have gotten 3 mani/pedis at most local places, for that—not have had to deal with a weeping scab for 2 weeks. Still, does one write a letter about nail polish?! My friends gave me a resounding YES. I did, and the manager called me at home, apologized profusely, and reimbursed all of my money. So yay them, and I will write them another letter, thanking them. I figure if we have the energy to complain about bad service, we should put equal energy into praising good service.

3. I invented a business opportunity for you. My mother can no longer sit in a bath tub; she simply can't get down into one. Are you ready?

Public Baths.

Like tanning salons, only bath salons, ok? Now hear me out.

I'd pay $20 to take Mom somewhere for a good hot, relaxing soak, yeah?

$20/an hour x 6 baths in your salon = $120/hr. income

$120/hr. x 10 hours a day = $1200 day income.

1200 x 30 days = 36,000 monthly income.

x 12 months = 432,000 year, monthly income.

I'm GIVING you this idea.

Ok. That tub is on winter clearance for $3000. So, you'd need 18K just for tubs. You'll need good hot water heaters; you can't have late bathers freezing their patooties off. Here's one for $12,000. See, I am doing your research for you! I have no idea how many you'd need to keep the place in hot water for a day. Research that yourself, I can't do all the work.

You'll need lots of sanitizers for spritzing down and making things germ free and polite for the next bather. Stock up on fluffy towels and bath salts and non-slip bath mats. Don't forget to buy lots and lots of insurance, so you won't be liable for the occasional stubbed toe, foot fungus or broken hip.

There you go. All you need now is some reliable employees that can withstand the probable occasional flashing and accusations of sexual assault.

Don't thank me now, just give me a discount on a package, and remember me in your will after you become a multi-millionaire tycoon.


  1. That deer pic is what mine would have looked like last week - but I didn't want to have to hunt for the camera. :)

    LOVE love LOVE <3 the iSlice. They were in our catalog before they were in stores (you know what I'm talking about - I'm not allowed to state on the internet that I'm a consultant). They're the best little things! I have one on my keyring and one on the side of the fridge (ours has a hole and a magnet).

    We did the drawing on the head thing for my sister's baby shower. She lived in another state, so we videoed the games and sent them to her with the drawings. :)

  2. My Mom used to clean gunked up iron skillets by throwing them in a fire or in a charcoal grill. You have to re-season after, but it sure cleans the skillet without any elbow grease. I probably wouldn’t try this method with cheap imported iron skillets, but any Lodge or Griswold skillet can take this method without any problems.

  3. 1. Cast iron skillets are the best. Congrats on having a really nice one.

    2. Instead of the pedegg, Santa brought me a pedibean for Christmas last year. OMG I LOVE my pedibean. I swear by my pedibean. You must get the pedibean. I assume the pedegg would work just as well but I will never know for certain because I am ADDICTED to my pedibean.

    3. We gave Timber a shamwow for his birthday (at his request, oddly enough ~ they are all the rage with teenagers right now) and he swears it works. Even Lithus agrees it works better than he'd expected. I still won't let them pour soda on the carpet. I'm a bitch that way.

  4. I juat redid a cast iron dutch oven. It matches your pot and is for sale. :)

    Your money making ideas sound like mine. I think I could make that one work.

  5. Cool cast iron skillet. I somewhat recently got an enameled cast iron skillet and an enameled cast iron Dutch oven (it's become my soup pot). I do like them, and they're pretty easy to clean, but they are heavy as the dickens. Next plan...a naked cast iron skillet for the kitchen. We have one in the camper that "Poppy's camping breakfast" always comes from.

    I need me an iSlice - especially for those darn plastic packages!!

  6. That pedegg thing is fo' shizzle. Don't waste a thought on getting one.

  7. Cool cookies! I didn't know they sold those cutters anywhere. My husband brought home some from some sort of promotion and I think I gave the others away. I use the one I kept all the time and it sits in a little foam holder with mouse ear and tail cutouts so it looks like a little mouse. That thing really is great. And even I haven't cut myself with it!

  8. I can't wait for the good deer pic.
    I'd rather have pics of deer in my campsite than a cheeky alligator.

  9. Supposedly the house we're moving into in June has the answer to the hot water problem. Some kind of coil system instead of a hot water heater heats the water instantly but only when you need it. No tank of water to keep hot. No running out. Turn on the faucet, out comes an unlimited supply of hot water.

    You may never see me outside of my shower again. :)

  10. Chefann: Looks like iSlice is a winner. I've never seen the keyring one, but now I want it too.

    AZ: I read about the fry pan in the fire thing; there are sites that say this may warp it, but I know it's kind of a time-honored system, so I imagine, as you say, that if the pan is good, this is workable. There's a slight crack around the handle of this one, didn't want to go that route.

    BP: Will look up pedibean; have never heard of it. I want shamwow even more, now. And club soda? Not even club soda? Dooo ittttt!

    Greg: Just bought a cast iron dutch oven for Clint's Christmas gift. big is it? How much do you want for it? How old is it? What's the inner surface like?

    Karla: Yes, I just got enameled cast iron too, and you're right: HEAVY. We either have to keep lifting our weights, or give them up in old age. I also just bought a clay pot that you soak in water before cooking in, which is nice and light, but the lid is most awkward--just a dome with no handle. Be careful for steam burns.

    Momma Dee: I read someone's blog once in which the folks at Target had accidentally put the PedEgg display in the kitchen utensils. Ugh. Not appetizing.

    Geewits: You made the mouse cutouts yourself? And your hubby got them for FREE? I paid $5 for mine, in a fit. I know it should cost 25 cents, but I was weak.

    LML: Alligator, NO. I'd like to see you start an alligator stampede though. At least, get pix of one.

    Maladjusted: See? You should start the business, you already have solutions to make it run more efficiently!

  11. Oh Lori, public baths mean something completely different to us gay people. Definitely NOT a place to bring mother...

  12. The cast iron pan is gorgeous!!

    Does your mom have a shower chair---we got a transfer shower chair for my mother so she can sit down and just swing her legs over the edge of the tub while sitting. She still can't handle it on her own but it helps...

  13. Anonymous9:42 PM

    i love these blogs about just about everything. i have been busy since the first part of december ~ i adopted a 6 week old puppy that someone dumped off in a field in idaho in a snowstorm... will try to visit more often AND not to detract from you deer photo but go to my blog and look at "here's something even i don't see every day" and while you are there, check out my puppy!

  14. You crazy, lady! Those cookies are awesome and that pan is a freakin' miracle! Love the iSlice, but I don't think I could fit all my tunes on it (boom boom).


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