Photo Dump Day with Bonus Brain Droppings

I've been crazy busy, but have found myself with a minute or two. I'm power-blogging; cleaning the slate of all that can be blogged, moving all of my great ideas and some of my lousy ones into the done pile. Here goes!

I forgot to tell everyone that my friend Buffy, who just started her own Confectionary Arts Studio, gave me a bunch of the coolest cookies before Valentines Day. You could write on them with edible-ink pens. I sent about 5 of them in care packages, and distributed the rest to soldier's children, mothers, and fiances, to write their own love notes on. Here's mine, to Brian:

The "Be Good Like Jesus" sentiment is a running joke between us; I got him this t-shirt for Christmas.


I started a stampede last week, when I stepped into the backyard to take pictures of these dear deer. They're never out when I have the good camera with me. Someday I will post an AMAZING photo of a deer, I just know it. IN the meantime, here's what I got:


With my Mom and my sister's permission, I recently took possession of my mother's old cast iron frying pan. This thing sat on the stovetop for most of my childhood years, never being put away. It had seen better days, but Clint is the King of restoring cast iron. The photo below was taken after the first round of restoration.

And, after two weeks of soaking in Easy Off, wrapped in plastic bags, elbow grease, copper brushes and scrapers, spraying and soaking again, and a bit of a hot oil treatment, here's Mom's fry pan, restored.

I love cooking in it, and Clint taught me how to take good-good care of it so that it stays in shape for the rest of it's life, which will probably be longer than the rest of my life.

We had a blast at Angie's wedding shower yesterday. We used Moscato D'Asti to make raspberry mimosas, and got that party started. Here's everyone drawing on their heads. The assignment was to draw Angie's dream campsite. The results were amusing and amazing. One of the ladies actually managed to draw a camper, 4-wheeler, boombox, and cooler. She actually wrote "cooler" inside of the box she drew. While drawing on her head. Suffice it to say that most of the rest of ours weren't that accurate.


Try it yourself. Put a paper on your head, draw something, then post it on your blog. DO IT!

Up next was the toilet-paper wedding gown game. We established our teams, then called over to the house and told the guys to send 2 volunteers over. We might have tricked them by saying we need to move a table or something. Let's just say they weren't really expecting a TP ambush.


Aren't they stunning? Homer (left) was the winning bride, despite Ryan's adorable mules.


As Seen on TV! God, I want all that stuff, that "As Seen on TV" stuff. I want ShamWow, and PediEgg! I want it all. I finally broke down and bought "iSlice" the other day.

(There's my toes, too).

I needed iSlice. You know, for cutting coupons and wrapping paper...and...1000's of other uses, like the label says.




It Opens Difficult Plastic Packages!!! Unfortunately, I could have used one to open this difficult plastic package; I had to hack into it with a chainsaw.

Also, IT DOESN'T CUT YOUR FINGER! God, how I want to see if I can cut my finger with that thing. For someone that can't stand blood, I'm still drawn to making it cut my finger, just so I can write a letter to the company or something, and say "it does too cut my finger."

My report: I love this thing. I wrapped a lot of stuff with it this weekend. It seems to only cut one layer of paper, too. I practiced on a scratch pad; it doesn't cut through the second page. How does it know? It's a miracle. They should advertise on TV.

Well, that's all for the photos, but I do have a few brain droppings:

1. Remember the soup Post Office nazi that I wrote about earlier? I forgot, and went to her post office last week. I had a handcart with 5 boxes on it. I set 2 on the counter in front of her, holding the others back until there was room. She totaled up the first one and said "will this be all?" I smiled and said no, I want to mail these 4 boxes also. She said "Will you hand me one?" I picked up the box sitting 3 inches away from her and put it in her hands. Always such an odd experience with her.

2. I finally used part of a Salon gift certificate that Clint had given me 2 Christmases ago. I'd held off since we were under construction for the last year, but decided to treat myself to a Spa mani/pedi on Valentine's day. BZZzzt!!! The technician sanded off the top of my toe, and the nail polish, even after hours of drying, never set up. The grand total for my mani/pedi was $89!!!

Ya'll know that's too much, right? I could have gotten 3 mani/pedis at most local places, for that—not have had to deal with a weeping scab for 2 weeks. Still, does one write a letter about nail polish?! My friends gave me a resounding YES. I did, and the manager called me at home, apologized profusely, and reimbursed all of my money. So yay them, and I will write them another letter, thanking them. I figure if we have the energy to complain about bad service, we should put equal energy into praising good service.

3. I invented a business opportunity for you. My mother can no longer sit in a bath tub; she simply can't get down into one. Are you ready?

Public Baths.

Like tanning salons, only bath salons, ok? Now hear me out.

I'd pay $20 to take Mom somewhere for a good hot, relaxing soak, yeah?

$20/an hour x 6 baths in your salon = $120/hr. income

$120/hr. x 10 hours a day = $1200 day income.

1200 x 30 days = 36,000 monthly income.

x 12 months = 432,000 year, monthly income.

I'm GIVING you this idea.

Ok. That tub is on winter clearance for $3000. So, you'd need 18K just for tubs. You'll need good hot water heaters; you can't have late bathers freezing their patooties off. Here's one for $12,000. See, I am doing your research for you! I have no idea how many you'd need to keep the place in hot water for a day. Research that yourself, I can't do all the work.

You'll need lots of sanitizers for spritzing down and making things germ free and polite for the next bather. Stock up on fluffy towels and bath salts and non-slip bath mats. Don't forget to buy lots and lots of insurance, so you won't be liable for the occasional stubbed toe, foot fungus or broken hip.

There you go. All you need now is some reliable employees that can withstand the probable occasional flashing and accusations of sexual assault.

Don't thank me now, just give me a discount on a package, and remember me in your will after you become a multi-millionaire tycoon.