Thursday, July 19, 2012

Unnecessary Necessities

Years and years and YEARS ago, my BFF Diane, who can wrap any gift to make it look like Cinderella made of spun sugar, agreed to come over and work her magic on some special gift or another for me. She waltzed in with stacked drawers, and trunks on wheels, and when she was finally ready, asked me, "Where's your tape dispenser?"

I merrily handed it to her:

Crickets, people. I might just as well handed her:

Where. is. your. tape. dispenser?!!!

Oh, a dispenser?! It's weighted with sand, and you buy refills for it? From an office supply store? Who in the hell owns a tape dispenser? Those are for teachers! And, and, and...secretaries! (Forgive me for being politically incorrect, but remember, this was the 80s, and we still said "secretary," right along with "stewardess," back then. I didn't know any better.)

At any rate, you can bet your sweet bippy that it was seen to that I owned a tape dispenser—Good Lord, you'd think I'd put ketchup on my grilled cheese sandwich or something. (I digress, but, you see, in our family, if you fixed a grilled cheese sandwich only to discover there was no ketchup in the house, you just threw it away. I've since found out this is wrong.)

The truth is, I now love my tape dispenser, and I laugh every time I drag it out. I contemplate, when I use it, the tools we each use in our lives that may seem like necessities to us, but unheard of to others. To my list, I've added two very necessary items, equivalent to Diane's tape dispenser:

Paper Cutter

You have a paper cutter, don't you? I mean, if you decide to make a thing out of paper, how else would you cut it down? Or, if you need to trim a photo that you print yourself? Of course, you use your paper cutter. I use a paper cutter so often that I can barely get the thing put back into the closet in which it belongs. Why bother? I'll just drag it back out again.


Actually, I didn't know I needed a laminator. My sister informed me I needed one, years ago, and proceeded to go out and buy one for me. Oh. My. God. She was right! I have gotten miles out of that laminator, and now with Toys for Troops, I couldn't live without one. If you yourself don't own a laminator...well, then I don't know how in the hell you laminate your stuff, that's all.

It's "Tell Me" time: What are the "quirky" items you have in your home that you use on a regular basis, that I might not have in mine?

I need to know.

So I can go buy one.