Monday, August 17, 2009

Gnightgirl: 1/3 of 1 Tough Day

Sis isn't doing so hot. A blood transfusion on Friday night left her feeling perkier on Saturday, so I took Mom to see her yesterday.

While we were there, I found out that Teri lost a contact lens, and has no glasses. She's 2 years overdue on an eye exam, and thinks the eye doctor won't give her a new lens. The effects of the blood transfusion aren't lingering as long as they usually do, and Teri doesn't have the energy to deal with the phone calls. I told her I'd take care of it.

I called Teri's eye doctor at 2:00 this afternoon, and spilled my guts. The Story. The. Entire. Story: There is no way that Teri can get into that office for an eye exam. We realize that the Rx has expired. We just need a one set of replacement lenses. Yes, I am asking for special consideration.

The girl that I was speaking to replied "Gawwwwwwwwwd!" While I was thinking, "yes, I know, we are in a pickle here," she replied "She hasn't been here for 3 years!!!

My teeth clenched up. Yes. She was there 3 years ago. Her eye exams slipped her mind while she's been traveling back and forth to St. Louis and suffering through chemo and cancer and hospice for the last two years. That is why I'm calling.

Ms. OMGawd called me back 2 hours later, and said "Sorreee, we can't give her any contact lenses. It's been too long." I was in a public place when I got this call, and I didn't care who heard me when I said, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CIRCUMSTANCES HERE?"...and some more, it was hard enough to say it then, I'm not going to say it again.

She mumbled something unintelligible, and when I asked her to repeat, she LAUGHED, and said, "well, I don't suppose you have a backup pair of glasses?!" As sure as I am that her laughter was wrought of sheer nerves, the girl was damned lucky that one can't reach through a telephone. That fucking giggle left me shaking with anger, and I told her I'd try to see what Hospice could do for us.

My next phone call, then was to Hospice. It was my first encounter with them, and as I told them who I was and why I was calling, I broke down. I didn't stop though, I kept talking and crying and asking for help: Can't they pull some string and get the prescription? My sister isn't going to be able to see across the room for the rest of her life?!! These doctors send people home with trial lenses every day. We're not asking for a free ride here, we will PAY for contact lenses.

They were so kind, and put a note into Teri's doctor to ask for help. They're to call me back tomorrow.


I arrived to Mom's house after this conversation, to have Mom confront me with this news, after talking to her own sister today: "My Dad died." Yes, yes, he did, he died in the 80s, he died a long time ago. Come outside and talk while I walk the dog.

When we get outside, I finally *get* that Mom is a mess. She explains to me some of her father's history, how he moved to California. She tears up, and wishes he didn't die.

I hitch the dog to the chain, and sit my Mother down. I'm straight with her, and I tell her this: "I have to tell you something. You were there with him when he died. It doesn't matter that you don't remember it now, what matters is that he knew you were there with him, and you stayed with him until the end, ok?"

She's so happy to hear this. We take the dog in and give him a Beggin' Strip.

While I'm at Mom's house, Teri calls, for an update on the eye doctor. I give her the update, and then she tells me that she's been on the floor.


She's been on the floor. For 4o minutes, until son Dane got home to help her up. Gahhhhhh, I had just talked to her, and she didn't need me to come over today, and then she spent 4o minutes on the floor?! I cleared time off this week to help her out, and she's on the FLOOR?!! ::profanity, profanity::


A storm rolled in. I amusedly watch kids on the street run from home-made basketball courts, then drive home to Clint's arms during a break. The skies open up again, and while we stand and talk about our day, water begins running out of the new range hood, down my newly painted walls, flooding the floor under the stove.

The culprit, it turns out, is...ME. While Clint worked yesterday, I promised to close all of the upstairs windows for the storm due then. He pointed out to me not to forget the upstairs bathroom window. I swear, I morphed into Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, repeating to myself, "don't forget the bathroom window, don't forget the bathroom window..."

I DIDN'T forget the bathroom window; I forgot the West Bedroom Window, and 1.25" of rain in 6o minutes blew in that particular window...thus flooding the kitchen...

I swear, I somehow get a "Get Out of Jail Free" card on these times when he would be justifiably angry with me.

He wasn't though, and thank God for that. I hadn't told him yet, about the rest of my day, and while he pulled the stove out and cleaned up the mess, and layed towels in the as-yet unfinished flooring upstairs, I just wanted to collapse for awhile.


And I've been bummed all evening, but as I wrote this my sister commented on the last post I wrote, making jokes about country breakfasts, and wrestling birds for a bite of anything.

And her humor just turned my day around...

...and my sister, she is, once again, the one that keeps me afloat.


  1. Ms. OMGawwwwd needs her eyes poked out.

    Mom, needs hand holding and hugs, just as you are doing =)

    Clint needs to pass out sun glasses 'cuz his halo shines so bright.

    Teri needs our thoughts and prayers to continue being said/sent her way.

    and Lori ...

    you are such a giver, rarely speaks of needs for yourself. Such a beautiful person inside and out.

    A true inspiration!

  2. I don't think anyone can say it any better than Nancy just did. I feel so honored and fortunate to have had the chance to meet you last Thursday - finally - after how many blog comments and gmail chat conversations...
    I'm guessing I'm not the only one who feels grateful to Clint right now for all the loving gentleness he is giving you. You deserve it and so much more.

  3. I'm so glad you have Clint, because if you did not have someone to give you big strong hugs I would just burst into tears.

  4. I love you. I love Clint. I love Teri.

    All of you. I'm there with you sweet pea. There with you.

  5. Anonymous10:07 AM

    All I could do is cry while reading this. And thank God that you have Clint to help you get through this crap. I am positive that if any of the people that read this had the same eyesight as Teri's we would all give her our own glasses and do without them for her to be able to see. I wish there were something I could do to help. I really do. Kelly

  6. You need a hug...and some kind of plan of attack on Ms. OMGawwwd....ASAP....

    In the meantime...::hugs::

  7. If you have a prescription for your sister's glasses you can order a new pair yourself through a place like I've done it myself and it's pretty easy.

    There's no excuse for you being treated like that by the eye doctor's office. Rather than arguing with them you may find this to be an easier, cheaper option.

    Tom S

  8. Hi Tom,

    We don't have the Rx; I was so upset with the short answer yesterday that I didn't think to ask for it until after I'd spoken to Hospice. If they can't help, I'll call back and *beg* for the last prescription, and hope we can work something out fast.

    Thanks for the link!

  9. I'm completely and utterly speechless.

    I ache for all of you.

    Now, more than ever, I wish I had a doctor in the family.... or a hitman to take care of ms.OMGawwwd.

    I love you. I'm here.

  10. I'm sure you're tired of people telling you how strong you are. You don't want to have to be strong. It's just who you are. It's who you have to be right now...for everybody.

    Regarding Ms. OMG, my guess is that if you could somehow talk to the doctor himself, he would help you. Ask for the office manager when/if you ever call them back.

  11. What Nancy and Geewits said...

    Huge hugs to you Lori. You are an amazing person.

  12. I know what you're saying.. My mom pretty much died deaf, as she refused to get hearing aids.. I contacted a store that seemed to have exactly what she needed-and would use..Money was no object and they refused to sell it to me without examining her. They went out of business... I wonder why?

  13. and one of these days you'll compile all these entries into a handy little book that someone else can read to help them keep perspective during their time of similar tribulation. You be something else, girl, and I'm proud to call you "friend."


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