Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Midwestern Girl's Guide to The Winter Pedicure

It was around Labor Day, I believe, since my last pedicure. Stuff's happened since then—an insanely harsh Autumn, chock-full of weather that requires socks and boots. Weather that leaves our poor feet floating around in an "out of sight, out of mind" continuum.

I guess I'll announce it now, then, that my feet are coming out of hibernation on Christmas morning in Mexico. 

Feliz Navidad, Peeps! Voy al Cancun con me hombre y su familia. Y necesito un pedicure because, as I said, my feet haven't seen the light of day for months. HOWEVER, hace frio, y there is mucho snow-o on the el-ground-o, and however am I going to get mis toes-os back to el country casa?

Seriously. Damp toenail polish. Your options: 1) Wander around the salon until tomorrow, which isn't necessarily condoned. 2) Gamble that you're dry enough, and stuff your feet back into a foot-vessel (Tantamount to throwing your pedicure money down the toilet). 3) Shuffling out into the snow and sleet in flip-flops...Yeah. You go first.
I have worked it all out.

UNO: Grab an old pair of 99-centavo socks and cut the toes off.

TWO-O: Find an hombre or an amigo that will drive you to the pedicure place, and drop you off right at the door.

TRES: Pick out a cha-cha color that properly represents Christmas in Mexico, and slide those socks from #1 on before the polish is applied.

Sure, you're slipping back into flip-flops, but most of your foot is covered, and all you have to do is tippy-toe back into...

Numero Quatro 4-oh: Call su hombre back to pick you up at the door. Your toes will never touch the sleety slush. Your hombre, of course, has been home shoveling a walkway the entire time, so you are in like Flynn, baby.

Cinco: Pack up your toesies (your swimsuit, sunglasses, sunscreen) in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.


  1. But...but...wait...I want to hear more details about: MEXICO!!!
    Yay for Mexico!! I feel a whole lotta exclamation points coming on!!!!!!!
    Your toes look beautiful and simply perfect for MEXICO!
    Now, please share more details. Please?

  2. I got a pair of 'socks' that look just like that but have the ribbing at the end also.. I never knew how they would be helpful until now.

  3. Pure genius..thats all I got to say..pure genius!!

  4. You are one clever kitten! Have a great Christmas in Mexico. Feliz Navidad!

  5. Lovely toes. Have fun in Mexico!

  6. If you were a street vendor in NYC you would make a million dollars. I kid you not Lori. One word, actually three. "Patent that sucker" as a Patent Lawyer friend used to yell when he brainstormed , AND made money off them eventually. :-) Have a very Merry Christmas.

  7. A Blessed Christmas and a Merry New Year:) Love the pedicure. Yes yes..I remember those long wet student days when my toes never saw the light. Totally understand:) Now back in the tropics...I change my tow colour every 2 weeks..just for the heck of it.

  8. Nice. I'm of the stay-forever-in-the-salon school; think I like your idea better.

    Merry Christmas to you, and I hope you're having a wonderful time in sunny Mexico!


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