I have developed PTSD from that footwear. Think of the scene in Rainman when Raymond panics at the hot water running in the tub: "Very bad! Very bad! Water burn baby!" Same thing for me, only my internal reaction at the sight of any high-heeled platform or wedgie-style shoe:
At the time I didn't have the heart to reveal what paid for those shoes that almost killed me. I'll tell you now. Are you ready? I ordered them from Zappos.com for:"Fall-down shoes! Very bad, very bad! Fall down! Aurghhhhhhhhhhh!"
!!! I know. Mind you, it's not that they were overpriced; it's just what this particular shoe costs anywhere you go. Still, in the past I've pranced merrily about in $4 flip-flops. $156.00 shoes was a huge decision, and I get nauseous every time I think about wasting that kind of lettuce. (Lettuce = Street slang for money. Because Street is how I roll, peeps.)
My friend Liz implored me to try to return the shoes. I resisted—I didn't have the receipt or packaging, and not only had I worn the shoes, but I'd (ahem) scuffed them up a bit in the two weeks I wore them before sending them into retirement.
She was convincing though, and finally talked me into throwing myself at the mercy of Zappos' customer service department. I sent them a link to the fall-down blog, and begged them to read it.
Here's the letter I got back:
Thank you for contacting the Zappos Customer Loyalty Team with that very entertaining email! I loved it!
I am so sorry to hear about your mishaps with your Naot shoes! I read the blog and was thoroughly entertained but also a bit upset at the idea of you falling down due to your recent Zappos purchase.
Since you are such a great Zappos customer, and are not normally a "fally-down" person, I would be happy to make a one time exception and allow you to return your shoes for a full refund!
[Shipping instructions, free UPS label emailed to me.]
Thank you for your continued loyalty to Zappos! I hope your ankle feels better! Let us know if you have any further questions or if there is anything else we can do for you.Yes!! Big Andy credited all of my money back! Big Andy rocks! Zappos rocks! Money back rocks! New shoes rock! Liz rocks! Dancy-dancy-dance!
Have a great day,
Customer Loyalty Representative
Have you ever ordered shoes from Zappos.com? Here's what happens:
1. Go to www.zappos.com, pick out some pretty shoes.I'm only barely exaggerating: Yesterday afternoon I used my shoe credit to order a pair of shoes, and they have been already been delivered to my house! I've had friends that ordered shoes at 10 p.m., and had them on their feet by 10 a.m. the next morning.
2. Order Shoes.
3. Close laptop.
4. Close eyes for 10 seconds.
5. Open eyes. See shoes.
There can be no other explanation: It's magic.
And this, my friends, is how good companies keep their customers. Not that Zappos would have lost me as a customer; I've had amazing service from them for years, buying my own shoes and Mom's shoes there. I've returned a few that didn't fit right, always with no problems and at their expense.
The amazing thing about this return is that my issues with this particular pair of shoes was my own. Zappos was more than gracious to comp me when they were never at fault. See, Zappos gets it. They get that if they take good care of their customers, said customers will keep coming back. They'll gush about it to friends, and on facebook, and ::cough:: on their blogs.
They're funny, too. I made one phone call to discuss the reimbursement. You know the press #1 for this, and #2 for that? Well, there's a press #5 for The Joke of the Day.
Of course I pressed #5. No spoiler here, if you want to find out the joke of the day, you'll have to call them yourself.
By the way, would you like to see the shoes that were delivered to my door today? Here they are, Jambu Odyssey:
Thank you, thank you Big Andy and Zappos. You've made a customer for life!