Tuesday, June 29, 2010

'Bout Old Men, and Laughter, and Watermelon Toes*

July seems to be The Month of the Whimsical Toenail for me. Last year it was patriotic toes for the holiday, and this year...well, nothin says summer like walla-mellon!

Here a picture of 4 of my 5 toes. Well, 4 of 5 on one foot; there are 5 more over there. I had them "customized" by my favorite pedicurist, Kim, on Saturday afternoon. It wasn't quite what I was after, but we had fun clearing a language barrier with drawings of big toes, and I let go the fact that I wanted "rinds" on all of the other toesies.

Lord. Is there such a thing as Botox for toes? Toe-tox, maybe? [Gah, Toe-tox, that just came to me while I was writing that sentence. I break me down!]

Anyway, the watermelon blather isn't even the story. The story is that I wore my new toes out to the "Blues, Brews, and BBQs" Fest in Downtown Urbana on Saturday (pix to come if I get around to it) and they were noticed by an elderly gentleman that called his wife over for a looksee.

He went on to tell me that at first glance, he wasn't sure if he was seeing watermelon, or lady bug.

"You know what you should do," he said, "next time, get a ladybug pattern, then glue little antennae to the ends of your toes."

It is rare that an encounter with a stranger really makes me bust my gut, so I appreciated this one all the more. We were crying and slapping each other on the back as we both rolled around laughing at the idea, leaving Clint and Mrs. Stranger wondering what in the hell the joke was.

God, someone pass the tissue, I'm blowing my nose and wiping my eyes...

...and I am SO going to do this.

Who's with me?

*Hat tip to Tom T. Hall.


  1. Cheers! I demand pictures.

  2. Ok....but the I have to justify the cost of this pedicure and let it ride for 3-4 weeks. I'll keep you posted...while I brainstorm on antennae technique, and apply for a patent!

  3. That's some way cool watermelon.

    Next up the ladybug. Please....

  4. That is hysterical!!! And anyone who quotes Tom T. Hall is definitely o.k. by me!

  5. wow. i'm definitely in. as long as the antennae don't look like spider legs crawling on my feet.

    oh, and it sounds like it's time for me to send you more wallamelon gum, doesn't it? not sure what i'll send you when you do the bug-thing. :-)

  6. This is hysterical. Probably the best icebreaker in town too!

  7. I love them. And at this point, if getting lady bug antennae is what allows me a pedicure, I'm in. You and Kim come to Galena and we'll work something out. ;)

  8. Hey! This isn't beer friendly. I just came back here to see my comment (or if I left one) and remembered you have that moderation thing. So if I did not leave a comment already, it was going to be all good.

  9. That's cool. Great photo and story. :D

  10. Anonymous10:59 AM

    You shouldn't knock your toes. They're cute, beautiful even. That watermelon looks tasty ;)


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