Getting Forked

I received this photo from friends Lori & Jim, on Monday. They'd come home from a party Saturday night to find that someone had forked their yard, and then accented it with TP. Their entire yard:




I had never heard of such a thing, forking someone's yard. Even though I get the dynamics just by looking at the photos, I had to do more research. Urban dictionary.com states that "forking" means

Sticking forks into someone's yard, usually to form words or pictures; can be
used to laugh at a friend or to (anger) an enemy."

(That's just one definition you'll find there. Don't go looking up the others. Seriously.)

Ha, haaaaaa— like Flamingo-ing someone's yard, only...with forks. Instead of flamingos. See? My A-D-D (and some spare time on my hands at work) caused me to wander off and look up Flamingo-ing your yard. Did you know that there are businesses that will do that for you?! You pay them, and they go and fill someone's yard with pink flamingo's. I wonder if they'll throw in a flaming bag of dog poo, and ring the bell for you? For an additional fee, of course.

I also read about fundraising with pink flamingoes. Brainstorming fundraising techniques myself right now, I considered this one: You put a pink flamingo in someone's yard, with a note saying that you'll remove it for $10. For $15, you'll remove it and put it in someone else's yard, the yard of their choice.

When I play that out in my mind, everyone just pulls up that damned flamingo and beats the crap out of me with it, note and all. I'd be stuck with a black eye and $200 worth of pink flamingoes on my credit card statement. I think I'll keep brainstorming.

Where was I?

Oh. Forks! Well, Lori and Jim, I discovered, were lucky forking targets. This was a harmless, amusing prank. My research turned up a much more more devious, evil way to fork. A way to fork your enemies.

I really shouldn't even share it with you. It's irresponsible of me, who knows what kind of havoc letting this kind of information out could wreak. Here it is, then: If you're really trying to get at your enemy, you use BLACK plastic forks, poke them into the ground, and then break off the handles!

It makes them less visible, harder to remove, and makes a godawful ruckus when you go to mow your lawn.

Wouldn't a certain 4-letter f-word be flying THEN!

(Pssst: I'm not talking about f-o-r-k.)