Melissa and I went out to dinner Friday night. I haven't figured out why dinner with anyone else costs about $12, but dinner with Melissa always comes to about $48,000,000. We met for gumbo and a salad a week before christmas, and with a glass of wine each, the bill with tip came to $58.
Last night we had tapas. 2 endive leaves each with a mayo slapped on, 1 scallop each, 3 cubes of tuna, and 3 shrimp scampi's each. Overall, we found the food bland, but each time the waiter returned, we told him everything was fine.
We opted to split a flourless chocolate cake for dessert. Something went awry in the kitchen; we gave our cake a little push and it fell into a pile of chocolate potting soil.
Give her drab dressing and tasteless tuna, but I am warning you, do NOT mess with Melissa's chocolate. When the waiter asked us how the dessert was, she smilingly said, "awful." She said it in such a cheerful tone that he replied, "I can't tell if you're being serious." She wiped that smile off her face and graciously, but very pointedly, explained that perhaps someone had microwaved the desert for too long.
In the end, the chef tried it, agreed with Melissa, and took the cake off the menu for the night. After the price of the dessert was taken off the bill, our bite-sized dinner came to an even $70.
We just have a knack.
After dinner, we went to a local pub, where beer and peanuts were in abundance. As luck would have it, Melissa found the world's biggest peanut, which, after a few beers is hilarious good fortune. Mel was very possessive about her Guinness-book-worthy peanut; "It's MINE" she exclaimed, "and I'm taking it home!"*
Well, it got to be 11:00, which is late for us old folks, and we decided to head on home. As we stood to gather on our coats, a man approached me and said, "I just have to tell you that my friend over there that thinks you're gorgeous; he's too shy to tell you himself."
Really?!! Someone thinks I'm gorgeous? Who? Where?
Melissa chimed in immediately: "Look at my peanut!"
While they got about figuring out how many peanuts made up the length of Melissa's peanut, our new friend continued, "No, seriously. He thinks you're gorgeous! In fact, here's exactly what he said: He SAID, [now get this] that 6 or 7 other men could look at you and not see a thing, but if they watched carefully, they'd realize how beautiful you are."
I cracked up. What do ya say? I'm in no hurry to hear a "Lori's Gorgeous" case that entails a list of reasons the 7 other guys would look right through me. Let's just take a few more peanut photos and quit while we're ahead.
As Mel and I headed out, laughing our butts off, I lamented that I am the Queen of Receiving Roundabout Compliments.
Still laughing, she insists I am not. "Oh, HUH!" I tell her, even last week while I had dinner with her and L.A. Lori, I remind her, they both commented on how great my hair looked...
Nothing's funnier than the truth; we were doubled over laughing, until Melissa peed her pants. And just for that hair comment, and because she keeps telling me that I'm the sweet one of the group, no matter how I tell her what a Bad-Ass I really am, I'm going to post THIS picture, of Mel checking the laughter-damage.
Oh YEAH! Who's sweet NOW, girlfriend? BWA-ha-ha! Woot-Woot!
[P.S.: When we going out next for some $100 mac n cheese?]