Upon reading the Guarantee, I had to imagine the fellow that wrote that copy to be one smooth talker. Check out the first line:
(Click to enlarge)It's true: These really are real fake pearls. No one bought them today, but I have connections. They had a five-dollar price tag on them; I can pull some strings and get them for you for ten.
I once saw a pair of earrings at the mall that proclaimed that they were made of “Genuine Acrylic.”
ReplyDelete"All our furniture is covered in genuine artificial leatherette."
ReplyDeleteI remember my first roommate in high school coming home with "sliced artificial processed cheese food." Scary stuff...
ReplyDeleteA bargain at any price! I always wanted to see you with a pearl necklace.
ReplyDeleteword ver: qwgyntys
I just can't go there.
Where did I think these comments were going to go? I'm reminded of "bacon flavored bits."
ReplyDeleteAnon: Is there such a thing as artificial acrylic, after all?
Wil: Isn't that the same thing as Pleather?
PobsBaby: That stuff terrifies me; I recently passed on a boxed pasta salad for something similar.
Andy: I WONDERED who'd bring up the pearl necklace, why did I ever wonder? I reiterate: This is a family blog, there are toddlers reading!
...And for the record, 10 days of penicillin will rid you of your qwgyntys.
Barbara Bush would LOVE them *smirk*
ReplyDeleteGood Lord...my word ver:
yfkrc
That is priceless!
ReplyDeleteAndy - Faux pearl necklace? Not sure what THAT would be. Yikes.
I'd never wear anything less than genuine quality fakes.
ReplyDelete