A Fairy Tale about My Brother-in-Law

Once upon a time, there was my Brother-in-Law, Tim. Tim had terrible, terrible allergies. No amount of Alovert would deter the itching, and the more he rubbed his eyes, the worse it got.

Saturday morning, my fair-maiden sister, Teri, up and took him to the vet in St. Joseph, because she read my blog about the vet there being cheaper than all of the other vets in the community.

Teri tricked Tim into getting into his pet carrier by telling him they were going to Pagliai's, in Charleston. He jumped right into his carrier, and Teri drove 100 yards down the very street they live on, to the vet.

"Are we here already?" Tim said, excited for his pizza. "Yes, dear," she said," we are here," and Tim was soooo happy.

Doh! Imagine his surprise when he found out she tricked him, and he was only there go get some allergy shots.

But wait! It's not so much the allergies, they were informed, but that he's just not disciplined enough to stop scratching and rubbing his eyes. The nice vet decided there was no use in over-medicating poor Tim, and decided, instead, to just put one of these puppy collars on him.



Alas, the last funnel collar had just gone out the door. Poor Tim Dud was suffering so much that the vet couldn't bear to send him home empty-handed. She suddenly had a grand idea, grabbed two styrofoam cups from the kitchen, and cut the bottoms off of them.

She returned to the exam room, where Tim sat, shivering in his backless hospital gown, on the the cold metal table. "Here we go!" she said, merrily, and proceeded to screw the styrofoam cups right into his eye sockets. Teri only had to pay 12-cents to the vet, for her heroic efforts.

They're

a


little


funny


looking


but


the


price


was


right


and


he


only


has


to


wear


them


until


the


pollen


count


drops.

Andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.

****

*This is not a true story. I made it up, right out of my own little head, with nary a drop of alcohol.

The real story is that Tim told me, on Sunday night, that I'd better not put this photo on my blog.

And just when there was peace in the family. Back in 1983, I tricked him into eating calamari by telling him it was an onion ring. He only just forgave me for that like, 2 months ago.

And I have to go and pull a stunt like this.

I am so screwed.