Monday, May 21, 2007

A Fairy Tale about My Brother-in-Law

Once upon a time, there was my Brother-in-Law, Tim. Tim had terrible, terrible allergies. No amount of Alovert would deter the itching, and the more he rubbed his eyes, the worse it got.

Saturday morning, my fair-maiden sister, Teri, up and took him to the vet in St. Joseph, because she read my blog about the vet there being cheaper than all of the other vets in the community.

Teri tricked Tim into getting into his pet carrier by telling him they were going to Pagliai's, in Charleston. He jumped right into his carrier, and Teri drove 100 yards down the very street they live on, to the vet.

"Are we here already?" Tim said, excited for his pizza. "Yes, dear," she said," we are here," and Tim was soooo happy.

Doh! Imagine his surprise when he found out she tricked him, and he was only there go get some allergy shots.

But wait! It's not so much the allergies, they were informed, but that he's just not disciplined enough to stop scratching and rubbing his eyes. The nice vet decided there was no use in over-medicating poor Tim, and decided, instead, to just put one of these puppy collars on him.



Alas, the last funnel collar had just gone out the door. Poor Tim Dud was suffering so much that the vet couldn't bear to send him home empty-handed. She suddenly had a grand idea, grabbed two styrofoam cups from the kitchen, and cut the bottoms off of them.

She returned to the exam room, where Tim sat, shivering in his backless hospital gown, on the the cold metal table. "Here we go!" she said, merrily, and proceeded to screw the styrofoam cups right into his eye sockets. Teri only had to pay 12-cents to the vet, for her heroic efforts.

They're

a


little


funny


looking


but


the


price


was


right


and


he


only


has


to


wear


them


until


the


pollen


count


drops.




Andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.


****

*This is not a true story. I made it up, right out of my own little head, with nary a drop of alcohol.

The real story is that Tim told me, on Sunday night, that I'd better not put this photo on my blog.

And just when there was peace in the family. Back in 1983, I tricked him into eating calamari by telling him it was an onion ring. He only just forgave me for that like, 2 months ago.

And I have to go and pull a stunt like this.

I am so screwed.

21 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:08 AM

    Haha I love it!! He cant wait to hear the comments people make. He says Brian gets the playboy girls and he is going to get the insane asylum. And you'll find out what you get when you see him next. haha

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  2. HA!! Guess the real joke was on your sister... She married him.

    Oh, I mean.....I married him!

    He can certainly keep the family entertained!!

    Thanks for the cute story too! I love being the sweet, sneaky, fair-maiden!!

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  3. So screwed perhaps, but I needed the laugh...

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  4. StFarmer8:20 AM

    You lost me at - took my brother-in-law to the vet. Are you SURE you weren't drinking when you wrote this?

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  5. stfarmer: it was all make-believe, see? And nothing but club soda with fresh lemon. I might have been on the exhausted, loopy side though.

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  6. OMG this is so funny! Our family holds no bars at pulling pranks on each other, especially my brother and I ... now you have me thinking, dare I blog about what we have done?

    Very creative indeed!!! Touche'

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  7. Oh! Oh, Blog, Nancy, blog!

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  8. Funny! He looks kinda cute that way, don't you think?

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  9. Lol!!! well, look at it this way...you're building family memories to last a lifetime...

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  10. Ha! Tim, Tim, Tim...you should know by now that no pictures are safe.

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  11. Screwed, yes. But your readers are HIGHLY amused and really, it's all about us, afterall.

    What a wonderful sounding man. It's nice to think he is as delightful and warm as he looks like he would be.

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  12. Maybe your brother-in-law shouldn't have said that to you "better not put the photo in the blog". It's like a dare.

    Man, if I were you, I'd be looking over my shoulders at all times. Never know what he's gonna do to get even with you.

    But then, you must be used to that. :)

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  13. Anonymous7:25 PM

    While I was at a fancy restaurant in Indy with coworkers last week, I remembered the Calimari story. Needless to say, a couple of us convinced a guy to try the "Onion Rings".
    Rick

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  14. That is hilarious. I have a brother-in-law who's rabidly allergic to stuff too. I've threatened to make him a pair of mittens with the cat hair I brush out of the cats.

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  15. There are jokes that cry out to be done! I can't stop myself either-if I could, I would have by now!

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  16. Your family sounds like my family. Great story!!!

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  17. At first I thought the dog was your brother-in-law.

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  18. Sometimes, dear, I think you may be losing it.

    N D T 1 3

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  19. That's hilarious. What a great picture (and perfect if you ever need to blackmail him).

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  20. Hey GNG ~ you've been tagged over at mine if you're interested. ;)

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  21. I still keep laughing about this. That picture is just a killer!

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