Post-Dentist Whining

I admit: I'm a hater.

A dentist hater.

It's beyond my control. My dentist is a nice enough guy. He's handsome and pleasant, his prices are reasonable, and he does a great job. I like him just fine, while the hygienist straps on that bib, and I like him just fine when he cheerfully asks me how my day was, and did I get to speak to my son on Mother's day.

But the second he hits that foot pedal to start tipping that chair back, I begin developing an extreme disdain for him and everyone in his profession. My heart starts racing, and I want to jump out of my chair, and run down the street screaming and flailing my arms.

I had to have 2 fillings this evening, both on the right side of my face. As I had my teeth cleaned a month ago, this was the first procedure on the agenda:


The needle went straight through the back of my jaw and into my inner ear. I'm sure of it. Twice. Once for top, once for bottom. After a few minutes, we began Phase II:


Part of an old filling had to be removed to fix a cavity around it. I do not care to see or feel metal shavings and dental debris flying out of my mouth. I don't like it, Sam I Am.

The filling on the bottom just happened to be located between two teeth. So the dentist had to apply one of these in there somewhere:

I don't know if it was attached to the tooth that was being worked on, or the tooth next to it, but it was ratcheted down pretty good. The sight of it hanging in front of my face triggered my gag reflex. I forced myself to relax, as we hurried on to step 4:

Fill, fill, fill, and then tamp tamp tamp with one of these:


More sanding and grinding, and biting ensued, and then WHOOOP! The dentist hit a button on the chair...


And I was back on my feet and out the door, running into walls while the blood runs back out of my head.

"I'm disoriented," was the last thing I said to him. He responded "heh heh hehhhhh" and something about hot and cold food.

My dentist's office is on the same street I live on: Here's a shot of me, walking home:



It's 90 minutes later. I keep biting the inside of my right cheek. My right eye and my right ear are both completely numb. Stick your finger in my ear.

See? Didn't feel a thing.

Big Catch-22 on this anesthesia wearing off, too. I'll be able to feel my lips again, this is true. It's the holes where that giant syringe went through my head that I'm not looking forward to recognizing.

I guess I'll count my blessings, and look forward to a healthy smile, and bright, shiny teeth.

Still. That's the last time I'm getting my teeth fixed at Farm 'N Fleet.