Friday, December 19, 2008

Great American Search for a Sexy Country Boot

Winter is setting in, and I'm starting to get an idea of how much of a change country life is going to be for me. Traffic and people and surrounding houses melt all of the snow from my "city" surroundings. I can step out of the house in suede clogs, walk across a concrete driveway and hop into my car, with nary a thought of getting my feet wet.

I drive 7 miles to The Country Casa, though, to find that there's still 3 inches of snow between me and the front door, and I'm for a sock full of it. 2 socks full, actually.

Boots! I'm going to have to find myself a good pair of warm, functional, countrified boots! I started searching early. I went into a respectable shoe store, and told the clerk my story. What I need: Warm boots. Yes. For the country.

She showed me something similar to these:


Well. That's not quite what I had in mind. Something I can work in, maybe? A little more functional? So, she brought out something more like this one:

Well. That isn't it either. I finally asked her, "Well, I want it to be warm and functional, but I want it to be sexy, too." Because seriously, I can not put on makeup and a cute little sweater, and muck into The Esquire in these things. Fine. I'm shallow. Whatevs. Talk to the hand.

The clerk actually said to me (very dryly, I might add), "You don't ask for much, do you?"

It may not surprise you to learn that I left empty handed. I came home to continue my boot search on the internet. Sexy boots, I'll search for sexy boots.



Yeah. These aren't going to work. I wouldn't make it down the stairs in these things before my calves cramped up. Let's try for warm boots, and see what turns up.

Here's a pair, called "Drizone Down" boots. I immediately renamed them "Fall Down" boots, because I'm absolutely sure that's what I'd do if I tried these on. Why don't I just tie a couple of pillows to my feet and shuffle around? These look like quilted drywall stilts. I'm out.



Let's turn to functional boots.

Hey, these aren't too bad:
I actually kind of liked these until I found out that Stella McCartney designed them. Insensitive of me to say, I know, but once I found out that Stella designed them, I just couldn't get over thinking that they sort of look like prosthetic legs. (I'm sorry, Stella.) But do I really need zippers, laces, and velcro to keep my boots on?

*It has been pointed out to me in the comments that Paul McCartney's ex's name is Heather, not Stella. My bad. Well, too late, the boot still reminds me of a prosthetic leg now. It's done.

I'm starting to figure out that I'm going to have to settle. To give in. Sacrifice. Compromise.

I hate that.

Fine.

These aren't too bad. I can live with them. My jeans will cover most of them up, after all.


Not terrible, my jeans would be covering most of these up too. Only the covered part is the best looking part.


These do look warm, maybe I should just go for warmth.


Wait.

Look. What. I. Found.

Eureka!


This is The Keen Winthrop.

The skies have opened up, and Angels are singing. These boots are black. Sleek. Waterproof. Warm. They are sexy from every angle. I love these boots! I love my Keen's sandals, and I'm sure that I'll love these boots too. These, after months and months of search, are The Boot. The warm, functional, sexy country boot.

$140.

Have I mentioned I have $3K worth of dental work in my future?

$140.

You know...

...these are kind of growing on me.

15 comments:

  1. Love it when you do photo posts like these :D

    Those hairy boots can easily pass off as little puppies clinging to your legs..especially in foggy winter mornings..hehe

    Good selection..but, come on, you can carry off more sexier boots !

    Uh, whatever. You like'em..I like'em too :)

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  2. You know I love those red boots!

    The "Chewbacca" boots, not so much, lol

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  3. When I was younger I had a pair of rubber boots with a heel. They were like galoshes but with a 2 inch heel and they were dry and warm and I loved them. Once I walked to work after a deep snow and forgot to take another pair. After waiting tables for 10 hours in those boots I didn't love them so much anymore and I still had to walk a mile home.

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  4. Stella is Paul's daughter. She still has both her legs. It's Heather, his ex-wife, who's missing one. (And you'd be the bomb in any of those boots.)

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  5. I like the light brown ones!

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  6. I love the Keen Winthrop as well. Oh, how I love sexy boots. :)

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  7. I'm sort of partial to the boots three pics up from your pick, but I'd never wear them. I'm glad your spot got postponed because I've been behind getting here and I would have missed it. I'm looking forward to seeing you on the 26th and annoying my husband by yelling "THAT'S HER!"

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  8. I'm having the exact same problem finding cute, functional, affordable boots! I'm hoping that boots go on a super-sale after the holidays. My black rain boots worn with wool socks just aren't cutting it any more.

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  9. I've been on a similar quest.
    When I was leaving the mall yesterday the PERFECT pair of boots caught my eye.
    Sexy. Waterproof. Warm. Flat heeled.

    THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FREAKING DOLLARS.

    Good gosh.

    And the quest continues...

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  10. june in florida7:27 PM

    You would'nt have to walk in the red ones, guys would carry you anywhere.The first and last pair don't quite look dead yet.

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  11. FWIW, Heel to Toe in Urbana is having one of its sales where they put out racks of shoes from past seasons. They do have Keens - I got some shoes for $43 and some boots for $40, IIRC.

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  12. Nice boots. That's a brand name that I was unaware of but will now have to check out.

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  13. Three inches? Three measly inches? Ha! that's not snow...

    Snow is the foot of white crap falling on us as we speak, err... I type. On top of the foot that fell a week or so ago.

    Dsmn.

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  14. I'd have to go for Stella's boots because they look like something Edward Scissorhands would wear. But I'll have no need for warm winter boots. Only just turned on the heat in the house yesterday. Yesterday, baby.

    You're welcome to visit anytime.

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  15. I love the Keen Winthrops. I may have to be a copycat, because I broke a small bone in my foot some weeks ago and I really can't wear heels for the duration of the winter, probably. I went to Heel to Toe to look and it was an utter disaster. Some of the ugliest shoes and boots on earth there. And of course any that were cute didn't fit or they didn't have them in my size.

    But $140. Dang.

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