Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Breather

I've just looked back over the last few posts, and all that comes to mind is "bleah." And Blah. Blurp. Blop. Man, I'm tired of being sad and stressed and tense, and I'm tired of being tired.

There are still things going on that are joyful and wonderful and that keep me on my feet. Sometimes it seems superficial to write about joyful moments when we are so heavy of heart, and at other times it feels absolutely crucial.



I was blessed, yesterday, to spend most of a day with my kid. Hours, people! Do you know what a gift this is? As I am pulled in many different directions, he is also, trying to tag up to as many friends and family as he can before he deploys.

But the planets aligned, and we picked Grandma up and went to see Aunt Teri. Her nausea subsided since last week, and our visit with her was longer. While she sipped on a grape Arctic Rush from Dairy Queen, we, along with Tim & Brandi, mucked through photo albums, laughing at our own bad haircuts from days gone by.

We took our leave, fixed dinner for Grandma, and then, we shoe-shopped. We ran into friends. We grocery shopped. We visited Clint at the fire station.

And in the interim, we talked. We got a giant booth at the Esquire and we ate pizza and we talked. We talked about our own lives, and about Teri and Mom and Iraq and about feet and money and cooking and trucks and people, and what did we not talk about, I just do not know.

We choked up at times, and laughed our asses off, and took this silly picture that I already posted to lure you to read this post:


He is, for the record, doing me a favor here. After previewing our first photo, I whined "Aw, I have dark circles under my eyes!" He said "We'll take another, and I'll cover them for you!" There. That's better.

Bonus! I loaned him my car today, so we grabbed lunch during the trade-off: "D.P. Dough" has a chicken fajita calzone full of a vinegary-wing sauce. We ordered 2, and hit the road back to the office, where Brian announced that he was coming in to hang out and eat.

Flashback to me as a single Mom, promising him some crappy happy meal if he could sit and behave with his toys while I worked some overtime on a Saturday morning...

...only he didn't sport a beard, back then.

At the end of the afternoon, we lucked out with one more beverage and one more hour of conversation. When I drove him back home, to ready for a date with my daughter-in-law, Courtney (working while she's home), one stoplight found me telling him "it's so nice to talk to you."

I have said here before, and I can only reiterate, that I am never more myself than I am with my son. I never defend, I worry not that I will offend. I never "smile politely." We agree, we disagree, we call each other on any B.S. or sugar-coating.

I am so proud and comforted, sometimes, to hear him initiate sentiments that mirror mine. He nonchalantly tells me of a friend that talks smack in public places, not bothering to curb his language or offensive discussion, say, when the waitress appears. "Whoa, whoa, whoa ... there's a time and a place, and you need to shut it, and I'm sorry for my friend here."

(Profanity-profanity) I'm so (profanity) proud of my kid when he tells me this!

I have a long list of other nice things that have transpired in the last week or so, but I've gone on long enough, and will save them for another day. I am, quite honestly, not at a loss for joyous content, any more than I am for heartache.

I've been handed a gift, of time, with my son.

I am thankful.

Godspeed, that kid.

10 comments:

  1. StFarmer1:41 AM

    He turned out pretty damn good, huh? Happy to hear you're getting in some quality time together.

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  2. That warms my heart. I can certainly relate to the smiles-tears-smiles-tears rotation.

    I can also relate to the single mom thing. Our sons are fine men.

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  3. Glad you had a great time. Things tend to balance out when you need it most. And damn, you deserved the break.

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  4. I love youse two's relationship! Glad you guys have had time to chat and chill...

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  5. That picture of you two makes me very happy.

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  6. The whole purpose of the spector in the background is to keep one's perspective on just how important all those happy, mundane, little things really are.

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  7. Loved that pic..hehe :D

    Nice tattoo on the soldier..wow!

    A well deserved cheerful time with that handsome son of yours.

    God bless!

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  8. I had double vision two weeks ago, you completely duped me with the double pic....nice bait, but never needed when I read you....and I always feel good when I finish. Time....nice to see it twice sometimes.. You rock....totally...totally. ;-)

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  9. Oh yeah...nothing like a little bit of mother/on time to soothe what ails you, huh? Love the pictures and, yes, that is QUITE a tattoo!! Is there a story behind that?
    And circles under your eyes? What circles? Brian did a good job covering them all up. :-)
    Nice to see you smile.

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