Monday, September 26, 2005


As long as we're on the subject of fashion, can I throw in my 2 cents on another current trend?

The Built-In Shelf-Bra.

Placed now, for our convenience, in most tank tops, swimsuits, spaghetti-strap tops, and even in our comfy pajamas. We will not be required to wear a bra with this garment, because there's one built in! Voila! Only one garment, instead of two! No straps falling off of our shoulders!

Who are they kidding? Their labels should read:

Built In Shelf Bra (BISB):
  • A strip of ace-bandage-like fabric sewn inside, guaranteed to flatten even the most ample bosom to the physique of a 10-year old boy.
  • Only the most, industrial-strength, steel-toed, push-em-up bra will stand up to the binding powers of the BISB, should you desire any semblance of owning breasts.
  • Scritchy little elastic band at the base of the BISB, to dig into your torso all day long.
  • BISB fabric will shrink at a different rate than the fabric of your garment, ensuring aesthetic bunching and puckering after only one washing.


  1. ain't it the truth. Thank you, Old Navy, for selling me not just one, but four (count 'em, FOUR) camisole tops with the BISB.

    What a tour de force of marketing!

  2. Sing it, Sista Hot Chik!
    Unless you want the Mono-Boob look, you have to cut those muthas out.

    If it doesn't lift and separate, I want to be hangin' out like Mama-Nature intended.

  3. It's not like they support anything, anyway! So, what is the point? I wear a push up bra under my camisole tops with the BSIB, so I'm doubled brala'd. Cut those out!Swing free little doggies!

  4. I saw the ultimate BISB yesterday at New York & Co. I wish I had a camera phone! It basically looked like two boobs (or a hugely padded bra)and some material hanging from it. Wow.

  5. Was it a camisole?

    The pre-stacked camisole! I have one of those in my closet, it takes up 3 times the space the other blouses do, to make room for it's bosom. Put that thing on, and fit is of no consequence; the girls just swim around in there all day long!

    Now, go buy a camera phone!


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