Thursday, February 16, 2006

Girlz Night & The Troll Hole

Last Friday night was GirlzNight Out. Melissa and Marcy-Momo and I did a few warm-up beverages at The Blind Pig, then moved to The Esquire for more warm-up drinks and Bleu Pear pizzas.

We happened to secure a table underneath 2 televisions, in which Olympics extravaganza was blaring. You know what it's like to sit under a television in a bar; every time you glance around, all eyes SEEM to be on you, but they aren't, really.

So, after some time, Mel, sitting on one side of the table alone, confides in us: "I feel like this chick behind me is staring a hole through my head, every time I glance around the bar, everyone at the table behind is turned around looking this way." She knew, of course, the TV situation. We are not a catty lot. As I was laughing and assuring her, "they're watching the Olympics..." the woman behind her got up and stormed our table:

"Rest assured, that even though you three are SO LOVELY that I might WANT to watch you all night, I was just looking for a friend who was to appear on TV tonight!!"

!!! Did I say "!!!"

Mel tried to explain what we'd said, but the other woman said, "I've clearly offended you!!" and she put her coat on and huffed out.

When I was 22, this would probably have made me cry. Might I just say that I appreciate being 30+ 40+ years of age, in which I could only think, "get over yourself."

And still I contemplate how some people are just happier if they can find something to be outraged about. Good for her, we made her day.

As long as we're talking about The Esquire, then, I will reveal a creepy secret that few male customers are aware of: The Troll Hole!!!

This is the downstairs lady's room at The Esquire:

This little half-sized door is not normally open; I had to open it to check that no drunk, crazed, rapin' and pillagin' troll was hiding inside. I have to open it every time I use this restroom, to check; for who on earth would willingly pull down their pants to pee NOT knowing for sure that The Troll Hole is unoccupied? Not me!

I actually haven't used the downstairs bathroom for years because of it; I just risked my life for blog-fodder.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I await all local comments, male and female.


  1. The woman at the bar "get over yourselve indeed!!!"

    The hole....OMG, I use to have one of those in my old house. It use to creep the shit out of me. I had to pad lock it! My fear was not of troll...but hairy spiders.

  2. I can spell yourself! I'm illegally blogging from work....rush typing.

  3. Nice. What IS in there anyway? BAthroom supplies? Is it just empty??? Weird...

  4. I so badly want to see if I'd fit in there.

  5. First of all, I don't know if I could go to the bathroom with an unknown space like that just around the corner - when I was little, I looked behind the shower curtain EVERY time before I'd pull my pants down!

    And secondly - that woman! Yikesorama. Some people need to get a sense of humor. There is always one - one who takes themselves so seriously. Oy vey. Glad you didn't let it get to you.

  6. How did you keep from laughing in that poor woman's face? I'm not sure I could have done it, honestly. As for the troll hole ~ I think I would require one of my friends to come with me and stand up against it everytime I went. *whew*

    And I LOVE the BlogLight image over at mine. That's really how it feels sometimes, isn't it? Thanks.

  7. The sight of that bathroom brings back so many memories.

    I never noticed the troll hole.

  8. The troll hole alwaqys freaks me out, but I kind of like it and try to think of all things that could be hiding in there. Jimmy Hoffa? Noah's ark? Gold boullion? Think what a great bar story it would be to actually find something in the hole!

  9. Jodie: A padlock kept out the spiders? They can find the keys, you know.

    Andy: no bathroom supplies. I've seen "stuff" in there before; a stack of old magazines...there was nothing Friday night.

    Holly: Yeah! Get in!

    Wendy: Hmmm...I'll blog about a halloween prank later that might give you nightmares.

    BP: Well, we did laugh, but not in her face; she was on her way out before we giggled and moved on.

    Jennie: You never noticed it!! You are naturally courageous, with magical troll-fighting powers that leave you unconcerned.

    PP: Gold! Diamonds and emeralds and pearls! Won't the pirates be mad when they get back and found out their booty's been looted.

  10. When I think of investigating a hole in the girls bathroom I... um...


Back talk! Comment here!