White Lies Wine

Being a connisseur of fine cheap wines, THIS caught my eye at the grocery store the other day.

White Lies, by Beringer in Napa Valley.

"Made For Women By Women!" the sign reads.

A Woman's Wine, as opposed to a Men's Wine! What could that possibly mean?! Is it injected with chocolate and Midol? Does the bottle come with a candle? roses? batteries?

I took the photo, left the wine, and came home and looked it up.

Oh. Eh. It's WineLite. 25% fewer calories. Less alcohol. Fine.

I should have left well enough alone, but nooooo...I had to go and read this interview with Beringer's Director of Innovation, Tracey Mason, and the Director of Wine-Making, Jane Robichaud, on BusinessWeek.com. Here are a few excerpts:

We recognize that women don't always need that regular 14.5% alchohol content wine. With that level of alcohol, we often won't have that second glass, or we'll stop ourselves at none at all.

BWA-haha! "One glass!" "We'll stop at none!" Oh, stop; ya killin' me! That's rich. Well, Ok, I'll concede, someone might worry.

They do want to make sure that you know it's NOT DietRite Wine.:

Diets are associated with tasting bad. [Their focus groups] also said "Don't make me feel bad or like I'm giving something up."

Hm. Now I'm not sure if I'm amused or insulted. The interview goes on:

Q: What makes White Lie different from all the other wines out
there aimed at women?

Any wine with a pretty flower on the label might appeal to women...

WTF?

...There are lots of feminine-looking labels out there but without our humor and edginess. We went a step further to think about what's actually in the bottle, and not just on the outside of the bottle.

"I Can't Believe It's Not Wine" Wine?

Q: Why the tongue-in-cheek name White Lie?

It's something that we as women all do....

We as women have cornered the market on the white lie? Goo-goo! Giggle.

...We're having fun by winking at ourselves. We all tell little lies like "My hair
is naturally this color," and "I always get up early to exercise."

And "I don't drink."

All Rise!

Jury's Returned. The verdict is:

Insulted.

C'mon; if they had said they were developing a low-cal, low-alcohol wine for smart, dynamic women on the go, women concerned with their caloric and alcoholic intake, I could have rolled with it. Here's what I'm hearing from their statements, though:

It's a faux wine for a woman that lies about the amount of exercise she gets in each day, and is too insecure to admit she covers her gray. She's in denial and extremely sensitive: she can not bay-ah to hear the word "diet" because it makes her feel bad. She's a bimbo that bases her wine choices on the pretty-pretty flower on the label...unless she's feeling a teensy bit naughty, then she'll choose "White Lies." That's just so cute.

What those slick marketing people know but aren't telling you is: She's going to drink 2 bottles of the stuff in one sitting, to make up for the lack of alcohol.

Shhh... Don't tell her we know though; it will make her feel bad.