Yeah, yeah, I've been shy about introducing him. Despite my willingness to discuss Montezuma's Revenge and spit cookies on my blog, I remain cautious and discreet about revealing issues of the heart.
Anyway. There is a boy. He's firefighter. We share grade-school class photos. We were friends, in junior high, and when Dad let us choose 1 friend to take to the races with us, in high school, he was often that friend. We have fond teenage memories, and we both ended up marrying, at the age of 18.
Other people.
I helped him remove a muffler on a '61 Ford Falcon when we were kids, but we never so much as held hands.
After a false start a over a year ago, we began seeing each other about 6 months ago. And things are nice now. Swimmingly nice, ya'll. That's all I'll say for now, except that you should be happy for us, that's how nice things are.
So, on our last Group Camping Trip Of the Year, with other Firefighters and EMTs, and their wives and children, I, today, sleepily asked, around noon:
"Did we bring any Diet Coke, Rick?"
If you're not sure what's wrong with that question...
The Boy's name is not Rick.
The Boy's name is Clint, and I'm going to stop calling him The Boy, after this entry.
Rick is my ex-husband's name.
Holy Shit. The scenario, in my head, was more like "Did we bring any Diet Coke, RickOHMYFREAKINGODWHATDIDIJUSTSAY?"
Clint himself is extremely amused, because, he says, he witnessed my complete confusion at my brain's short circuiting.
While he teases the heck out of me, and I run off and find a therapist to figure out what just happened, help me out, will you?
TELL ME ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOUR BRAIN MIS-FIRED.
Call someone by the wrong name? Steer your car to your former address? Write the wrong last name on your check?
Show me a little love. I know I'm not alone here.
Signed,
Blushing at Mill Creek State Park
Blushing at Mill Creek State Park
My significant other and I will celebrate our 30th year together in Feb. 2008, and I can’t tell you how many times he’s called me by his ex-wife’s name and how many time I’ve called him by my ex-husband’s name. I don’t know why it happens because I was only married to my first husband for three years and significant other was only married to his ex for seven years, yet they still leave an indelible imprint on our psyches and no amount of time seems to erase their names from our brains. It must have something to do with the marriage vows, because I dated others after I was divorced and I never mistakenly utter their names so I guess marriage vows and the person you vow to love till death parts you is a very strong promise to make and one that your mind is unable to forget.
ReplyDeleteMy brain misfires all the time, but I have an excuse, getting hit in the head a lot and all. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI've always been terrible with names though, even before having an excuse. I developed a habit of using descriptive nicknames and my own variety of pronouns. That habit has become a necessity due to my memory/concentration issues.
You'll rarely ever hear me say, "Hi [name]!" But you'll here me say, "Hey, lady!" or "Hey there!" etc.
If I'm telling a story about one of my friends there is always a descriptive in place of a name. I've probably told a hundred people a story that involves my "mechanic buddy," or "Boston buddy," or "my Bloomington buddy," or my "home inspector buddy" etc etc. One time I actually told a story using the ex-wife's name in a story, and my girlfriend of over a year gasped and said, "Wow, I'm almost shocked she actually had a name."
When telling stories about you the descriptive pronounish phrase is typically the "toys for troops lady" and everybody knows who I'm talking about now. So it works.
So take heart. Brains misfire, some more than others (oh so much more than others...) but we can adapt! We can prevail!
Disclaimer: The above does not apply to full on psychotic episodes or flashbacks, in which case if I call you "shipmate" just ignore me and buy me a shot.
Woo Lori's got a boyfriend, Lori's got a boyfriend! Seriously though, firefighter who doesn't mind you calling him an ex's name: you have it made, girl!
ReplyDeleteAs for brain misfires, last year I spent half an hour on the phone complaining about my mobile phone and how they couldn't find my details. After I hung up in exasperation I realised I had called the wrong company. Idiot.
TELL ME ABOUT THE LAST TIME YOUR BRAIN MIS-FIRED.
ReplyDeleteJust today, or do you want a longer time span? ;)
BTW- There goes our dinner on Mau'i and the special breakfast I promised to fix you. Oh, well. Long distance relationships seldom work, anyway.
Congrats and I am glad you are happy. :)
Brain-farts ...yep I have em.
ReplyDeleteMy recent was simlar to svenboy.
I was getting frustrated with my garbage pick-up service. They couldn't find my account, which frustrated me more.
She did eventually find it but insisted I had canceled it a year ago. Grrrr, I told her I was calling from work and would pull my last bill when I got home and call her the next day.
Yep, I pulled it ... totally different company, I had made a change. Now I wish I would have called back and apologized, admitted my "mis-fire".
Generally men don't mind being called another man's name unless it occurs during an argument or during an intimate moment. Trust me on the argument thing... and I have been called "Oh God" a few times during intimate moments.... but I didn't mind that.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you are happy with a B-o-Y.
ReplyDeleteThe other day, in public in front of other people, I called my daughter -- very loudly -- our dog's name. Yes, I know the difference between my canine child and my human child, but that's what happens sometimes.
Forget about it. :-)
The best man toasted my sister-in-law and her new husband at the wedding reception by calling her by the ex-wife's name. In his defense he had been the best man at the first wedding too.
ReplyDeleteThis cracked me up. Thanks for sharing. Way,way too many examples to share here.
ReplyDeleteWow..you've got a Boy...ain't that good...I can tell by your pic you are happy....you so deserve it...
ReplyDeleteAs for brain misfires...every day...I sometimes look at True and even though I'm looking at him, my lips start to say my ex husband's name....and I can literally here the cables and gears in my brain churn in reverse...and if I start to pronounce the first letter in my ex's name, I'll randomly say a word that begins with that letter...
"You know what 'Marshmallow', I think we make such an awesome couple".
You can imagine True's face with all the random M words I come up with...
Oh. My. God.
ReplyDeleteThat is SO embarrassing! You poor baby! Well, at least he took it well. I can't promise that I would do as well with such things.
Since I've clearly been relegated to the status of "web big brother" let me just say this:
Mr. Clint-Not-Rick-Firefighter-Boy better not mess up your heart with his boots because he'd look awful funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no effing teeth.
Just saying.
mom and I figured you had a man, just from reading your blog and knowing you from way back when.
ReplyDeleteWay back, when DH and I were just starting to date, I called him Jeff because my previous three boyfriends had been named Jeff. Hence my policy: should I ever commit adultery, his name must be David.
Just a few months ago I backed the car out of the garage, but didn't look in the rearview, because who checks when they back out of their garage? I missed running into Dave's car by about 2 millimeters. He was standing in the doorway, watching. Frowning. I smiled and waved sheepishly, then proceeded to back right into the garbage cans at the end of the drive. Oy vey.
And remember when you told the "Becky, in my country thee weemen don't say Motherfucker" story, and I laughed and asked whose story that was? That's one of my favorite short circuits.
Too funny - glad he has a sense of humor! My mom & dad have been married 45 years and he still calls her 'honey' because he's afraid he'll call her by his ex-wife's name! It's kind of cute, actually.
ReplyDeleteKeep having fun!
Hmmmm, I think that is how Mom started out... Always knew you were just like her. Tee hee. Glad I took after Dad!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya lots!
Hee Hee Hee Hee You have a boy, you have a boy... :D:D:D:D:D
ReplyDeleteAs for not being alone, Lithus' last name has the same letters as the SGM's last name, just in a different order. Which hasn't been a problem. Until I called his hotel at one point and asked to speak to Lithus (SGM's last name.)
And here's another one... My grandparents, Ralph and Blanche, were both happily married to Polly and John for years before getting married to each other. When it came time to redecorate the house, Blanche said "What if we paint it yellow, John?" and was then immediately horrified. At which point, my grandfather being a very wise man, wrapped her up and said "I think yellow would be just fine, Polly."
You're so not alone!
AZ: I definitely think there was something about being in a couple-y role for the first time since I divored, at work there.
ReplyDeleteGlock: I like Toys for Troops lady better than "crazy beanie baby lady" any day. Cusack.
Sveny: Give 'em hell...whoever they are!
Wil: Breakfast is still on! You can't take back the breakfast! It will just be for the 3 of us, now.
Nancy: Too funny.
Lbotp: I want to know the dog's name.
Donna: Ok, that's uncomfortable, but funny if you're us.
Stfarmer: Clint did mention that there could have been more inopportune moments to short circuit; guess I got lucky.
Sean: Glad you got a laugh out of it. C'mon. Share one.
MaryP: I didn't even have time to catch myself; it was out there before it registered in my muddled brain. "Marshmallow" cracks me up though.
Keyser: I had to admit I'd have been peevish also, has the roles been reversed. Don't hit my boyfriend, kay?
ShySmiley: All hilarious; hitting the cans after the nice save...tsk. A tragedy. I laughed hard at the last one though.
Wendy: Your dad is brilliant! Only pet names from here on out!
Teri: Mom called Dad Rick?! What? ;-)
Pobs: Hilarious, sounds like your grandparents had great sense of humor!
My most embarassing misfire was sort of like yours. Except worse. Mr. Jazz and I were doing the horizontal boogie at the time. And I said: "Oh yeah, just like that, Peter".
ReplyDeleteHe laughed.
I cringed.
Lately, I've been able to snap my tongue with my sharp little teeth and not call her by my evil ex's name. Although, it's almost happened a dozen times!
ReplyDeleteMy mother on the other hand, isn't so lucky. Last week, while shopping she called me 3 names before she got it right. Oh...and I'm an ONLY CHILD! Gee Mom, thanks for making me feel special! :D
Sweetie, don't feel bad. My first husband of 12 years was Darrell. Two years after the divorce I began dating David. Those damn D's.
ReplyDeleteOne of our very first romantic romps was the scene of the first time I confused those two names.
Yes, at the very most inopportune time I called him the wrong D name.
It doesn't get worse than that. It bothered me much more than him - obviously since he married me a year later (seven years ago).
It has happened a couple times since by both myself and my mother, but nothing as embarrassing as that mood killing moment.