Friday, May 12, 2006

Gruesome Shoesome

130 miles since April 9. And this is what your shoes look like after you walk 5(.6) miles in the rain, all the while oblivous that a teensy sliver of a toenail is hacking into the side of your next toe.

Well, I guess that's how it happened. I'm not altogether sure. Maybe that we were yakking our hearts out (that's a given), or perhaps being soaked to the undies distracted me. All I know is that I was shuh-OCKED to pull off my shoe and find a bloody red sock after Wednesday night's walk.

I got right about finding what must have been a heinous wound, and found: Nothing. Zilch. Zip. I sat down, and took off my glasses, and inspected every toe very closely. I unscrewed my foot from my leg and put it under a microscope. Not even a pinprick of blood! I spent a goodly amount of time searching before I called Dana to scream about it. Poor dear, having made it home and just getting out of a warm shower, she had to deal with me yelping "my sock is all bloody, but there's no wound!!"

What did I expect her to do? She was kind enough to humor me, suggesting places I might look. As if I'd lost my keys. "Look between your toes." "Is there still a sticker in your shoe?" (I'd bogged down the walk after yardwork last week, with sticker-bush stickers in my shoes.) Nope, that's not it.

Again, it occured to me, I'm making the girl stand around in a towel (don't you go picturing it!) and WHAT do I want her to do about it? I let her off the phone.

And, since I couldn't find a wound anywhere, and there was no particular toe that seemed irritated, every single one of my toes was in excruciating, psychosomatic pain the next day. OH, my poor toesies, they didn't know what was wrong with them, they only knew that they MUST be hurting, and they screamed bloody murder. 2nd day after, though, I discovered 3 visible boo-boo's, any one of which could have been the offending bleeder. Where did they come from? I have no ideer.

What did I do about it?

I went WALKING!! Oh yeah baby! Bring it on!

We are walk-jocks.


  1. I have had mysterious small injuries before, I don't think a bloody sock one though. I just figure, if I can't find it to treat it - oh well.

    I love the way you wrote this, had me in stitches.

  2. And so the addiction begins.

    (And yes, I pictured your friend in a towel. Not that I know what she looks like to begin with.)

    I'm so glad I found your blog. I read it like I read so many of my favorite "big time" writers.

  3. Owwwwww. You made me cringe!!!!

  4. I get those too. I've had a blister working on the heel of my right foot for nearly a month now. Various shoes irritate it, and then I go jogging anyway, so many of my socks are blood stained.

    AND I've had the toenail-digging-into-neighboring-toe injury, too. My feet don't like themselves.

  5. Anonymous9:53 AM

    A sign of the stigmata?
    better call a priest!?

  6. I'm laughing and laughing! Suddenly I don't feel so bad having to be at work on a Saturday.

  7. june in florida4:55 PM

    I think you need CSI, maybe that hunky Grissom.

  8. I've been walking a lot more than usual lately, and my feet just LOVE to complain about mysterious owies.

    I usually can't claim anything as dramatic as actual blood on my socks though. :)

  9. Perhaps you had a walking black out and kicked someone to death. Check round the hospitals, and get yourself a good alibi!

  10. Telling someone, especially guys, NOT to think of a lady wrapped in a towel is like me telling you not to think of a Brian.

    Once the seed has been planted, its impossible to ignore.


  11. I'm with anonymous; it's a footwear- and textile-related stigmata. I looked in the mirror one morning last week after getting dressed to find bloody spots on my shirt collar. No shaving cuts, none of the usual bleeding from the eyes and ears to be found. No other explanation...

  12. Great story! Hilarimous!!

    Except for the part about, you know - your being in pain and the bleeding and stuff...

    I'm glad your tootsies are better!


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