"This town is full of shit!! People are rude, they're uncivil, and they don't know talent when they see it!...." He continues, in a syrupy tone, "do they, kitty?"
Ya'll know I'm empty nesting. The kid has flown the coop. The temp. roommate spends little time here these days. And the kitty is in kitty heaven now.
Daylight savings and oncoming winter find me rattling around inside my house a few more hours than usual, and I swear to God: I am turning into a certifiable, talking-to-myself nutjob!
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! I start a conversation with myself the minute I get home: "What is THIS?" I ask, as I pull an unknown bill out of the mailbox. I continue inside, as I open it: "$20?!! For WHAT? I paid my co-pay!"
I putter around the house, and think about issues that frustrate me. "What the hell is wrong with you!," I will say to no one, as I scrub the kitchen sink, deep in thought. Or, while remembering something funny a friend said, I find myself laughing, and saying "you crack me up."
It's disturbing really. Bad enough that I'm talking to the freakin' houseplants, but I often can't control myself in public places. I stand in the produce aisle and announce "2.99?! I don't think so!!" and I recite my grocery list to myself: "tea, I need tea, and don't forget the veggie sausages."
Good Lord! Am I on a downward spiral to the loony bin? Is there such a thing as middle-age onset of Tourettes? Because I think I might have that too; I'm suddenly prone to crazy outbursts. While I walk and think, I might exclaim "WhatEVER!!!" or "Jesus!" in an exasperated tone.
So as to present an edumacated post, I did a Google search on "talking to yourself." Well, didn't I shed some new light on this situation! The first link I read stated:
"What's really bizarre about this is that the act of talking to ourselves is actually a sign that we are self-aware and that we seek insight into our own actions. "It is proof that I'm a higher species, this particular report goes on to say.
Higher Species! Ha! I'm NOT mad as a hatter after all! I'm brilliant! "Brilliant!" I just said outloud, to my laptop.
Most of the other sites I scanned indicated that yammering to oneself is normal, but not considered an acceptable American societal norm. "Try to keep your voice down" is the general advice.
Ok. I can do that. In the meantime, I'm following Drew Hasting's lead. Well, kind of. I'm setting up an aquarium.
Really. Doesn't this guy look like a good listener? I'll keep the higher species stuff to myself though; I'm sure he won't want to hear it.
I'm off now, to seek more insight.
What? Oh. Nothing. Hit "Publish Post," Lori, and go to bed. Oh. Did I say that outloud?