Sunday, November 12, 2006

Still shakin' it off...

I'm standing in the kitchen, when my son races in. He is wearing his army fatigues, and he's frantic. He's been looking for me. "Come with me, Mom! Hurry!"

He takes my hand and runs, with me in tow. "Keep up, Mom. We have to hurry, come ON. Please Mom. Hurry."

And we stop, in the middle of nowhere. There is a long, low, mound of earth, like a speed bump, in the middle of the earth. There are a few other soldiers milling about. Waiting. "Ok," my son says. "I have to go now. I have to go now..." and his voice catches in a sob, as he hugs me, "I have to say goodbye." I don't understand why we're crying....

...and I awake, Sunday morning, sitting up, and crying, myself. I stumble out of bed, and walk, robotlike, to the kitchen, and start the coffee. I'm wiped out. Depressed. Shaken. It's quiet in this house. I sit on the couch, and listen to the coffee drip into the carafe, and to my own breathing.

And, when I can't shake off that dream, even after coffee, I pick up my phone and dial my son, with whom I just spoke, yesterday. I don't really know what to say to him; I'm embarrassed to tell him the truth. Instead, I say, meekly, "Hi. Um. I just wanted to say hi." "Really?" he asked "is everything ok?" I stutter my confession: "ok, fine. I had a crazy dream, and I just needed to hear your voice."

He laughs. "I'm all right, Mom."

"It's silly, I know, but..."

"It's all good, Mom. I'm all right."

"Ok. Thank you. You have a fun day, ok? I love you."

"Love ya too, Mom."

Ugh. Where did this come from? Pix he sent home yesterday? A friend's asking about him, and his future, yesterday? My noting, the night before, that the movie "Jarhead" is for sale at Blockbuster? I reminisced that I'd asked Brian to go see that with me, then withdrew my invitation, thinking my imagination might run amok while he was in bootcamp?

Well. The bottom line is he's fine, folks. Here are a few he sent home to Mama yesterday.






And one more thing: Thank you for your vote for the Democratic party last week. My nightmares are some mother's realities right now. Pray, people, pray!

22 comments:

  1. Bless your heart. That dream would be with me for a long time, too. I'm glad he's okay.

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  2. My 16 year old is all set on a military future. So unless he changes his mind, I'll probably share a lot of your emotions (both pride and fear).

    Thanks for sharing. I like your heart.

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  3. Well bless you .. The pics are amazing ..

    ./thanks
    ilaiy

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  4. OK, I get the dream thing(though I nearly never dream) and why you needed to call.

    I really do not have a clue how voting Democratic will make less soldiers die.

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  5. Well, you're probably right, Barry. but I was hoping the democratic majority in the house and senate will help find a speedier end to this war, and start sending some boys home. Naive, am I?

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  6. I can relate to sudden creepy dreams. I was awoken with one last night myself. You are loved.
    NOt much difference between cemocrats and republicans that I can see BUT my observations tell me that democrats mean well but have no clue. Republicans don't mean well for anyone but themselves but they know what they're doing. Meh. Politics bad. God bless babe.

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  7. Glad he's OK. Love the pics! I totally understand having a dream and needing to "clear things up".

    I voted. And I'll pray and pray and pray...

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  8. Anonymous6:38 PM

    Is your son in the infantry? I have one in there near Baghdad and it is probably no coincidence that i have had stomach problems and sleep problems that started about the time he went in there. Military is one thing but when they are in or near Baghdad it's an entirely different story. Best of luck and prayers to the soldiers regardless of the administration or the policy.

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  9. I share your hope, gnightgirl....

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  10. That's intense, and emotional, wow. Glad he is ok, you had me scared reading that.

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  11. Wow, that's hectic. Glad you decided to call him. It's great that he's alright.

    I think it's a positive thing that the democrats did well.

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  12. So glad it was a dream. Sounds like he was sweet on the phone - some would have ribbed the mom. Good kid you got there... And Reed got email this morning!

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  13. I so know how your feeling. With a son in the reserves, I can totally relate. Then the ARMY sent him to Pittsburg last month for deployment readiness training.....ugh. He keeps assuring me its nothing.
    Cross your fingers ya'll.

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  14. I too share your hopes for the future with new leadership, and having had dreams about my own kidlet that sent me to her room in the middle of the night to check on her, I can totally understand your need to call.

    *hugs*

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  15. His gun looks like it's made of plastic.

    thank goodness he's not in basic training any more and you CAN call him to check in. He has his momma's heart.

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  16. Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.

    Mary: I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that it's not a plastic gun either.

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  17. Actually in that first picture, that is a plastic dummy ak-47 that is used for training.

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  18. Wow...what an intense dream!! I can only imagine how you felt. I don't have any children but I'm sure that if I did, I'd be one frantic Momma too!!

    Its great that you called him and told him that you love him! When I have dreams like that, I usually pray about them and it helps.

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  19. Watch some nice romantic chick flick tonight :)

    My thoughts are w/ ya. My friend didn't have to return to Iraq after his sniper wound, they are closing that base in Germany so the troop came home this month...just before his release to full duty. WHEW!!!

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  20. Hi Gnightgirl

    As the Sullivans bear testament no one suffers more than a mother during war...may we all find peace...

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  21. Can I just say that your son is really cute?

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  22. I'm glad your dream was groundless, and that your son is okay. Hugs to you. :)

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