I'm standing in the kitchen, when my son races in. He is wearing his army fatigues, and he's frantic. He's been looking for me. "Come with me, Mom! Hurry!"
He takes my hand and runs, with me in tow. "Keep up, Mom. We have to hurry, come ON. Please Mom. Hurry."
And we stop, in the middle of nowhere. There is a long, low, mound of earth, like a speed bump, in the middle of the earth. There are a few other soldiers milling about. Waiting. "Ok," my son says. "I have to go now. I have to go now..." and his voice catches in a sob, as he hugs me, "I have to say goodbye." I don't understand why we're crying....
...and I awake, Sunday morning, sitting up, and crying, myself. I stumble out of bed, and walk, robotlike, to the kitchen, and start the coffee. I'm wiped out. Depressed. Shaken. It's quiet in this house. I sit on the couch, and listen to the coffee drip into the carafe, and to my own breathing.
And, when I can't shake off that dream, even after coffee, I pick up my phone and dial my son, with whom I just spoke, yesterday. I don't really know what to say to him; I'm embarrassed to tell him the truth. Instead, I say, meekly, "Hi. Um. I just wanted to say hi." "Really?" he asked "is everything ok?" I stutter my confession: "ok, fine. I had a crazy dream, and I just needed to hear your voice."
He laughs. "I'm all right, Mom."
"It's silly, I know, but..."
"It's all good, Mom. I'm all right."
"Ok. Thank you. You have a fun day, ok? I love you."
"Love ya too, Mom."
Ugh. Where did this come from? Pix he sent home yesterday? A friend's asking about him, and his future, yesterday? My noting, the night before, that the movie "Jarhead" is for sale at Blockbuster? I reminisced that I'd asked Brian to go see that with me, then withdrew my invitation, thinking my imagination might run amok while he was in bootcamp?
Well. The bottom line is he's fine, folks. Here are a few he sent home to Mama yesterday.
And one more thing: Thank you for your vote for the Democratic party last week. My nightmares are some mother's realities right now. Pray, people, pray!