Lately I've been tuning in to The Travel Channel's food shows. Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations is one of my favorites, second only to Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods.
Zimmern travels the world, tasting delicacies that we'd be kind of grossed out over. In the episode above, the waiter slew that cobra, fed Zimmern the still-beating heart, then proceeded to slice & dice the rest and whip up all kinds of dishes that Grandma used to make.
I think Zimmern needs a sidekick! A cohort. A female straight-man. Oh, pick me, pick me! I want to be Kathy Lee to his Regis! Gracie to his George! Ed McMahon to his...oh, you know what I mean! If the crew of Bizarre Foods ever rolls through town, I will camp out on the sidewalk to audition (working beforehand, of course, to overcome my fear of television cameras).
I want to travel the world and eat grasshopper (chupalines) tostadas, and smile approvingly, and say "Mmm, nutty! These are quite good, actually." And I want to go into people's kitchens, and learn how to properly fry grubs, after I knock down banana leaves with my machete to find them. I'd eat whole crunchy little birds, and guinea pigs, and armadillos cooked right in the armadillo shell—they cut it out of the shell, and then put it back in, just like a little armadillo crockpot!
Seriously, can it be any worse than tripe? (Yes, I have eaten tripe. It taste like a pig farm smells.)
I'll practice on beets, the one food that triggers my gag reflex. If I can get to a point in which I can smile through a slice of pickled beet, I'm a shoe-in for this job...this job that I just made up.
While I busy myself writing the network suggesting they hire me, tell me this:
1. How adventurous is your sense of taste?
2. What's the most bizarre thing you've ever eaten?
3. What could I rope you into tasting? C'mon, there's gotta be ONE thing you'd give in on. Broaden your horizons! Life's too short!
And don't you go applying for my job. I'm not choking down all these beets for nuthin'!