So. I've been called to Federal Jury Duty, from Jan. 1 to Feb. 28. I have to report tomorrow morning, I am Juror #117.
We are busier than ever at work, with a project that will print next November. It's not necessarily a good time. My boss is annoyed, at best. I've offered to work weekends, and make up whatever time I miss...naively hoping, under the circumstances, that they'll smile and pass me on, having once been married to a cop. And dated another, but we won't get into sordid circumstances, unless it gets me back to work for the day.
I did a Google Image Search for "federal jury champaign" and turned up....seemingly nothing that had anything to do with Federal Jury in Champaign. 10,700 images and nothing Champaign'ish until page 7 or so, and that just of an interstate.
At any rate, I have my parking pass, and a book to read, and no cell phones allowed, I'll leave mine at home, and can I bring water, and what if I wear jeans, and I'm praying that O.J. Simpson steers clear of Bubble City. Seriously. I'd be ruined.
What a way to start the year, ay?
"Ms. Stewart, do you have any preconceived notions about this case?"
ReplyDelete"Yes, sir. Having been married to a police officer I know that cops only make arrests when absolutely forced to. Then their reports must be approved by their sergeant, their watch commander, a detective and finally submitted to a district attorney. The prosecution reviews all the evidence and decides whether to pursue the case. Most likely trying to make a plea bargain to lighten their work load. They will only bring a subject to trial if they feel they have a rock solid chance of winning.
So, sir, if it takes that much to get this far then the subject is probably guilty as sin and only some crafty footwork by the defense could possibly spring his ass."
"Uh. Okay. Your Honor, we reject this juror applicant."
Happy new year !!!
ReplyDeleteTell them you're a blogger - that should get you out of it.
ReplyDeletePD has nailed it for you.
ReplyDeleteDo you get to go home if you are not selected for anything or do you have to hang around all day?
"Well, if he wasn't guilty, why would he have been arrested?"
ReplyDeleteWorks every time.
Off topic, but...happy belated. ;)
ReplyDeleteI would love to be picked for jury service! It works a bit differently over here, but mandatory time off and full pay? Gotta love that justice system!
ReplyDeleteI'm enough of a goob that I would LOVE jury duty. Have always wanted to sit on a jury, actually, but my background as a victims' advocate ends up shooting me in the foot most times. Maybe I'll start lying. >:)
ReplyDeletePsssst...next time try "federal jury URBANA" and voila! Lots of images for the federal courthouse right there from the first entry. Poor Urbana, always being ignored and overlooked. Sniff...sniff... We were here first, you know. Take that, West Urbana!
ReplyDelete