Monday, October 02, 2006

Stupid Human Trick

Someone get Letterman on the line.

I've been doing that "blow out your ears" routine that the doctor recommended to me on Friday. It's not working. In fact, my ear hurts more now than it did 3 days ago.

But, I have discovered an interesting side effect. When I try this little routine, lava comes out of my left eye.

Ok, it's tears, really, but my eye bubbles over and makes a horrendous high-pitched whistling sound, like "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Ask Momo. I demonstrated for her Friday night, and she jumped around yelling "Ew! I hear it! I can hear it!"

I made a little movie of it, but it was entirely too gross, even for me to watch, and it's MY eye. Instead, I found a visual for you:

Wouldn't it be great if I could work my way up to shooting milk or beer out of my eye!

Ow. Don't make me laugh. My ear hurts.


  1. high pitched sound? Sounds like you have an act there.

  2. Still in time to join the circus!!

    Maybe you can do that act , while balancing on the cute couch you liked!

    I'm just sayin'...

  3. Just read 4 of your posts at one time, for some reason i was'nt getting them. Hope you feel better soon, thats all i am writing on my blogs today, DB is down again.How is this ? For my sign in today it was 'MTMOM'

  4. Don: Yeah. me too.

    Barry: If I can just play the star-spangled banner...

    MP: I'd do anything to balance on that cute couch!

    June: MightyMom! I sent DB regards!

  5. Ew!! That picture MAY be even grosser than your eye trick! Ha ha ha!

    I'm gonna have to see that video - unless you've already erased it.

    I hope your ear starts to feel better!

  6. Your tear ducts drain into your sinuses - hence when you cry, your nose runs.

    So for some "normal" people they can reverse the flow - and blow milk out their eyes.

    I on the other hand had a severe allergic reaction several years ago that caused my tear ducts to close up. Even after several
    "dilations" (translated as let's shove a needle in your tear duct "keep your eyes open sweetie" and let me squirt saline through to your throat so you can gag) - no luck.

    So I had what they call Jones' Tubes (tiny Pyrex glass tubes) placed in my eyes. Basically they rerouted my tear ducts by drilling a hole - yes I said drilling - in each side of my nose at the base of the bridge.

    Now I can not only blow air, tears and I suppose milk if I tried - but I could shoot a tube out if not careful.

    More than you wanted to know?

  7. Momo: I believe it's been deleted. But I can re-enact, if my fan's insist...which they clearly have not.

    MK99: Well. That's just great stuff! You just never know what kind of information you'll find under a rock when you dare to blog a thing! Jayzus, my eyes are watering now.

    Drinks are on me, you're going to shoot a tube!

  8. That sounds strange. It's a pitty that your ear hurts otherwise you could get a job in a show or a circus maybe ??

  9. The sound coming out of your eye would freak me out! :) I hope your ear gets better or is it your eye? :)

  10. I was doing your ear exercise on the plane and it felt great, but nothing came out of my tear ducts. I was so disappointed.

    Hope your ear is better soon.

  11. Gattina: Yes, A job on Venice Beach, step right up, folks!

    Stephen: It did cross my mind that I could get an eye infection from trying to fix this ear thing! Wouldn't that suck swampwater.

    Mary: Blow harder! I know you can do it!

    Matthew: Yeah ouch. Back to the drawing board, I think. Or the ear/nose/throat specialist, at any rate.

  12. Anonymous1:08 AM

    yer weird

  13. how many drinks will it take you to show me that?


  14. A good strong cappucino would probably do it.


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