Bah, Humb....awwwwwwwwwww.

It's getting down to the wire, isn't it, folks? I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. Almost. A few more things to buy before Saturday, and, as of now approximately 20 spare minutes in which to buy them.

I went out tonight on a Mad Mission: Put an end to this shopping chaos. Finish it.

Oh God. The Mall. Parking frenzy and strollers on your heels. Might I make a few observations?

First complaint: Beeping! When did we become so stupid or lazy that "they" decided that either we, or every employee of every establishment, needs to be beeped at to be reminded to do our jobs? Beep! Someone's coming in! Scrreech! Paper is coming out of the register! Blip! Sign here! Boop! You are exiting the store! Whoop, whoop, whoop, we forgot to remove the security tag! ... Well no wonder; there's no siren on the security tag!

Next, what's the deal with all of the "hip" stores cranking the techno music to volumes in which you are forced to scream "NO THANK YOU! I'M JUST LOOKING. WHAT? NO, JUST ...NO, JUST LOOKING!! I'M JUST LOOKING! oh, forget it, I'm outta here."

Another complaint, since I'm on a roll: A store filled with clerks stocking and talking, and only 1 employee working at a counter with 3 registers. HELLO, McFLY! Is there no one here authorized to ring up the 15 people standing in this line?!

Ok. My last stop of the night: Barnes and Noble.

You know all of those cool bargain aisles at the front of the store? Tonight, they are selling children's books with little electronic PIANO's in them. Loud, screechy, grate-on-your nerves pianos. Not that much of a problem, except that someone, to my amazement, has dropped off their 2 TODDLERS to play piano books. I can hear them from everywhere in the store. I pace back and forth around those kids; there are NO parent-types to be found. I am stunned and worried about them, irritated at their stupid parents, and hissing to my friend "who in the HELL would just drop their kids like this?"

It is suggested by my too-honest friend, that my holiday spirit for the day may be waning a bit. I tell him to shut the hell up, because I am FULL of holiday cheer, and he'd better not forget it. Now where in the hell are those kids' parents? Are they abandoned orphans or WHAT? I have to hover around to make sure no one eats them before their parents return. They do, at long last, and I resume my shopping.

Then the Angel Gabriel appeared, and said, "Behold, I bring you fun shoppers with REAL holiday cheer, and you should go and ask them if they will pose for a photo for your blog."

I did, they did, and my Grinchy heart grew three sizes, and I ended the evening all giggly, with my faith in holiday spirit restored.