Monday, November 18, 2013

NaBloPoMo 17: Confession Time

I have a confession to make, a secret. People might unfriend me for this, but it's time for me to come clean, and say it:

I don't give a shit how low you wear your pants. 

I don't care where you buckle up: at your knees, or at your nipples, it is of no consequence to me. Because, as I see it, this guy:, neck to toes...covered with fabric. Cotton to linen to denim, I don't see one inch of flesh on the way up until I meet his neck. I recognize that there's a patch of plaid fabric that sends the message, "in here is my butt," but I don't think it's so offensive that we have to kick everyone out of America and start over again.

I don't perceive the outrage over this trend to be any different than the suffragette's showing a little ankle, or Elvis shaking his hips.

I am most concerned that these boys are changing their gait to keep those pants up, thus throwing out their hips, back, and knees. That is cray-cray for sure, but haven't women been doing this in detrimental shoes since the beginning of time? We screw up our arches, lose our toenails, twist and/or break our ankles and end up in a boot for 6 months to a year, for our shoes. Guilty, your honor.

I haven't found a single valid argument against low-rise jeans with fabric in-between. It was in fashion 10 years ago—seriously, it's not going away; how long are we going to bitch about it? My own kid, now in the military, rocked the look in '04, and I have fond memories of going out with his grandmother and gleefully picking out "rubber ducky" boxers for Christmas.

Furthermore, I have no idea how anyone finds this:


more offensive than this:

The coin slot. Twenty-five cents, please. At coffee shops, plugging in their phone chargers, at Walgreens looking for fingernail polish remover on the bottom shelf, how many times must I just look away?!

I just wish that girl had put on some boxer shorts before she left the house.


  1. Not with you on this one. It looks so stupid. Also the girl. Also girls with thong strings sticking out. Also men with thong strings sticking out. I can't imagine your cool macho son doing that. Sorry, but it really looks stupid. And by the way, I haven't worn dangerous shoes since I was in my early 20's. I don't get it. And how do they walk around? Do they have hidden suspenders or something?

    1. The look wasn't as extreme 10 years ago, as it was now, more of a peekabook boxer, but he took some slack for it. Whatevs.

  2. This made me laugh out loud! All of the above is true! To cover or not to cover ... that is their choice, my eyes bleed at so many "looks" these days ... including at some things I wear! If clothing was the only world problem we had to deal with, wouldn't that be awesome! Great post :)

  3. It seems sort of a ridiculous fad (though after 10 years you can't really call it a fad anymore), but you're right, it's not offensive.


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