Heyyyy...Who said Illinois landscape is boring? In the right places, you can drive for miles and see nothing but the scene above, interrupted by the occasional farm house. It drives tourists—that is, anyone not from the midwest—absolutely nuts. It even drives the locals a bit batty. People hate it.
Ya'll just need an attitude adjustment!
Look, here's what you have to do, to properly appreciate the local corn 'n bean scene:
Wait until the cicada's are singing. Until they deafen you. Oh, and until the grasshoppers are flying.
Wait until dusk falls, and the air begins to cool, after a hot day.
Let down your hair; no pony tails or ball caps.
Turn off the A/C, and roll down all the windows in the car.
Head ye out into the country. It's not difficult to find.
Floor it.
Whip up the wind.
Smell sun-hot corn cooling on the stalk.
Listen to the cicadas, crickets, grasshoppers, and tree frogs.
Now sing.
Sing louder! Belt it out! Scream! Sing it alone, or sing it with your friends, or sing it with your kids! Make up the words!
Sing til you're done.
I'm telling you: When word of this gets out, bean field tourism is going to go straight thru the roof.
hey cool blog i like it!
ReplyDeleteHey, I've never been to Illinois, but I used to hang out summers in Indiana where the landscape was flat.
ReplyDeleteJust like you describe here I remember those hot summer nights where we all would jump in the car and race to the corn patches to have field parties.
It was a blast.
Sounds like a dream. Then I get in the car and...
ReplyDelete- Wait until the cicada's are singing. Until they deafen you. Oh, and until the grasshoppers are flying.
- Wait until dusk falls, and the air begins to cool, after a hot day.
- Let down your hair; no pony tails or ball caps.
- Turn off the A/C, and roll down all the windows in the car.
- Head ye out into the country. It's not difficult to find.
- Floor it.
- Whip up the wind.
- Get flying grasshoppers caught in your hair.
- Scream.
- Scream louder! Attempt to extract the insects without crashing the car.
- Eventually pull over, jump out and dance around whilst pulling out grasshoppers.
- Scream till you're done.
- Drive home crest-fallen with windows closed.
< wry smile > x
Daniel: thank you!
ReplyDeleteCoffeepot: Corn Parties! I never went to one of those. Maybe I'll plan one!
Sveny: I laughed my ass off at your rendition. Thanks for busting me at work!
I wanna go...
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived there I used to drive down this country road on the west side of town (I think!) and do most of what you've written about, but my main goal was to General Lee it over a railroad crossing. I could get some sweet air when there wasn't anybody else around.
ReplyDeleteWere you singing "Purple Wayne?"
ReplyDeleteSounds like a much nicer ride than I've had lately!
ReplyDeleteAw, cheez, where was this advice two weeks ago when I really needed it?
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI didn't put you on the email list this time but I had surgery again a few weeks ago. This was the hardest so far. I'm having that incisional oozing like your sister did. The surgeon told my mom he didn't know if I would make it through the first night. Things are better now. I lost your email address in case you hadn't noticed. What kind of camera did you get?
Rob
Rob, dammit, where have you been! I'll be right there...
ReplyDeleteIllinois here I come!!!
ReplyDelete(are ya ready for me!?!)
That sounds like an amazing trip!
ReplyDeleteAnd a nice, positive outlook on life.
Me like it da new camera very the much. Especialment los photos nuevos.
ReplyDeleteRock on ranchera. I still ain't lovin anywhere more'n an hour from the sea.
I've no notion to be far from the motion of the ocean, capiche? Good.
Why no more HNT from you. You're gorgeous! Show it off a little!
That is all.
There's no place like home. I have always thought that this area is beautiful, but other people find it flat and boring. But when I went to Europe years ago, I realized once I got home that flat land is where I'm meant to be. :)
ReplyDelete