Sunday, August 06, 2006

On Silver Linings...

The market report is postponed cuz something's in my craw, and Craw gets First Blog Priority.

I can usually find a silver lining in any cloud, but yesterday presented a few situations in which I had to toss up my hands.

First, I have an update on Ilaiy's fish. Ilaiy used my home as the return address when he left, since he was no longer at his return address. I received, in the mail yesterday, a letter stating
"an empty wrapper with your address was found in the mail and is believed to have been separated from your parcel..."
Separated from the parcel?!!! It was still attached to the paper it was originally glued to! It was still attached to the duct tape that had secured the paper to the package. It was not "separated from the parcel", it was CUT OFF THE PARCEL WITH A RAZOR!

The implications of this made me sick. I have so much to spew that I don't dare begin. Momo and Mike and I are helping Ilaiy with proper correspondence.



Momo and Mike and I cooked up an easy meal at my house last night, before we hit The Coffee Shop.

There are a number of "regulars" at the coffee shop, and we've come to know, at least, the weekend faces. Some we still do not know their names, but we will. These things take time. I'll remind you that this is an outdoor cafe, in the midst of an interesting downtown, where we can talk, people watch, and place faux $5 wagers on whether the parallel parkers are going to hit the car behind them or not.

One of "ours" came across a bit of conflict last night, leaving me feeling numb. I try to protect his identity, and his situation, so for the sake of the story, I'll tell you only that he is deaf. It has taken me, literally, YEARS of saying hello to get to know him.

I think it takes a certain amount of trust building and baby-steps to build a friendship, when you're vulnerable to lip reading and a hearing aid. He's a cautious one, I've figured out. And over the years, I've witnessed his reasons. He is walked over a bit. And he has to stand up for himself, and in the interim, decide which battles to fight. I did, before I met him officially, watch him stand his ground a few times, and thought "good for you!"

And it's only been in the last year that we've opened up to one another, and I know also, that he lets it slide more than he stands his ground.

That said, I still do not know his last name. It is a "downtown" friendship. Still in the works.

Saturday night, he suddenly fled from his table, extremely distraught, to talk to me.

The guy at the next table, had, to amuse still the next table over, typed up a horrible insult in large letters on his laptop, and handed it over for "ours" to read.

My friend, asked me, "is this true? of me?"

I was shocked. No. NO.

He said only, "they cannot make me leave," and he went inside for tea, only to encounter one of the woman at the next table whooping it up over him.

And he can read lips.

And we watched, with sinking stomachs, his encounter with her, and her running out and packing up and taking off.

And laughing.

I'm still sickened. While Momo moved his belongings from his table to ours (and, thus away from the guy with the laptop) I caught him a few minutes later, and told him "Rise above them. They're despicable."

He told me "I'm never coming back here," and he left.

And I can still feel the bile rising in my throat.

Silver Lining? There IS no silver lining here. Silver Linings, I can still usually find even in bad behavior. I can step outside, and recognize bad days and chaotic relationships, and that bad behavior is a reflection of what's going on with the behavioree. I can forgive bad behavior. Even when it exhausts me, I can forgive it.

But mean-spirit.

A mean spirit found me waking up this morning feeling like I'd been punched in the stomach. I carry it with me for a day. I wear it with me. I cannot think of writing a cheerful market report when this is hanging over my morning.

And it's not even about me. It didn't even happen to me. If I feel this awful, how must "ours" feel, waking up this morning?

And, a rare event occurs: I'm not going to look for a silver lining.

To do so would be insulting.

Photo credit: Dept. Atmospheric Sciences, UIUC


  1. It is astounding what some of our pea brained fellow 'human beings' consider funny and that others dont have the guts to tell them that what they have done is despicable and cruel.I think the package may be another example of cruel and inhuman behaviour, was there not a problem with the postal person?

  2. Disgusting. I do think what goes around comes around, but unfortunately, it could take years. I hate mean people. There, I said it.

    Sorry for your friend. And for your disappointment. Sometimes, that's just as disheartening.

  3. They are toxic people, and unfortunately you've absorbed some of their poison. Maybe writing this will help flush it out of your system. As Wendy said - what goes around comes around. I really believe that. They live in their own stinking poison - all day, everyday. Think how much better your life is.

  4. I don't know what to say, about either story. Horrendous. Both of them.

    Sometimes the world just isn't fair. And I don't understand why that is.

    Glad you had us to "talk" to, though. I hope that has helped a little bit.


  5. Well, the silver lining for me is knowing that there are people like you around.

  6. and they still use the words 'human' to describe themselves...

    It is very very sad.
    I'm so worried that my daughter will have to live in this cruel cruel world!

  7. As for the postal worker - we'll get that MF.

    As for our coffee friend, I hope he does come back with his head held high (as it normally is and deserves to be).

  8. Gah! Weirdness abounds! What's going on around here? Missing fish? Mean spirits? Bad JuJu.
    Must be the moon or something. There's definitely something yucky in the air. Try and be of good cheer dear.

  9. Thank you all, you sweeties. I am considerably

  10. How can they all live with themselves?

    I like to think that the majority of people in the world are good, kind people. I think you just encountered your share of bad ones for the month.


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