Friday, September 29, 2006

Crustacean Tube Dysfunction

Did that get your attention?
I hate going to the doctor, and so I've been treating my own inner ear problem for about 6 weeks now. My left ear is driving me batshit.

Don't you just love the 'net! First I diagnosed allergies, and I tried Alovert. Nope. Then I determined that I had swimmer's ear, even though I don't swim, and I prescribed homeopathic ear drops. No improvement.

I got back on the 'net and found stories about bugs getting into people's ears and laying eggs in there. The idea that my head might be full of larvae made me break down and make an appointment with the doctor. It's not really something you want to take a chance of.

Things to Be Thankful For Today: No Earwigs for me! Yay!

I have Eustachian Tube Dysfunction. Big medical terminology. It translates into "Eustachian Tube Not Functioning Properly." Here's the x-ray they took of my ear:

More good news is that I don't have to take any medicine for this. There IS no medicine for it. Instead, I have to do this:

Only I have to hold my nose and exhale through my ears at the same time.

I must say that was interesting to watch the doctor demonstrate. She really did it, like she was getting ready to dance The Swim or something.

Anyway, I have to do that every hour on the hour, until...well, I won't tell you until what, except the doctor used the medical phrase "gob of stuff."

I know, I couldn't help myself, either, from saying "EW!" when she said that.

Every hour. Sometimes I'm glad I have a cubicle-y job. I've already tried it once, and lo, the right ear pops, but the left ear doesn't. Maybe that doctor knows what she's talking about.

I promise I won't blog about the day the left ear finally gives out. I won't Gob-blog.

Your welcome.


  1. God I hate that! My ears get blocked periodically and that drives me bat shiat crazy too.
    Glad you're getting your art on. Feels good eh? Rock on!

    word ver: ratokli

    Like broccoli for rats? Rat and broccoli ratatouille?

  2. Anonymous10:43 AM

    Your pictures are hilarious. But, seriously, what are the symptoms of eustachian tube dysfunction? Could I have it? Maybe that's why my inner ear is messed up and I'm dizzy all the time. I work in a cubicle. Maybe I'll do that dance and try to blow that medical stuff out my ear.

  3. Andy: Does feel good! Ratokli: for the cooking blog!

    KM: Symptoms: fullness in the ears, maddening tingling and itching, some pain, and yes, some dizziness. Some nights when I lie down, I can feel my ears..."filling up" with fluids, and wake in pain. Mostly, I just want to tug at my ear, like a 6-month-old baby.

  4. Hope you feel better soon!

    And a follow-up blog might be pretty funny...

    I've had to go get my ears blown out a couple of times. For wax build-up - I think I have a friggin' hive of bees up in there. ;0)

  5. Hopefully the exiting of the "gob of stuff" won't be painful!

  6. Hope you get better soon .. That reminds me I would have to get my ears cleaned .. Thanks momo ..

    Should do a follow up blog would be hilarious ..


  7. Excuse the pun but several things pop to mind here.

    You've been reading too many blogs about spiders.

    The Xray shows you have something between the ears.

    Batshit. Love it! Must add it to my repertoire of words that have meaning and punch. Like arsehole.

  8. Let's talk symptoms! I think I might have the same problem as you, but with my right ear. It sounds like a blown speaker sometimes. Hope you feel better!

  9. Wondering how many of your readers did "the exercise" as they read along. Or was it just me?

    And I like your x-ray. It had words in it and everything.

  10. This is funny! I love the cat photo.

  11. Anonymous12:41 PM

    i've been sitting here for six hours and still can't exhale through my ears

  12. I think the doc is pulling your leg and just seeing if you want to do something that makes you look rediculous.

    OK, I am just picking...:P

  13. Do you watch House? This makes me think of that! I hope your ear feels better!

  14. I'm a self-diagonser, I must say that I find it useful to have a friend who is a doc so you can get a second opinion.

    I must confess I did the exercise. Its like when someone tells you its physically imposilbe to lick your elbow, you still try.

  15. Hmmm I think my dad has what you have. He HAS to chew gun on flights, which made the 13 hour flight to London bad on his jaw. Still he wasn't too tired to comment on my red head the moment he touched down.

  16. gun = guM !!me and my typos:)

  17. Anonymous5:34 PM

    I have the same blockage in my left ear---Tried everything! I am opn for suggestions---Did ANYTHING work?

  18. Anonymous5:09 PM

    It's great that you can approach your problem with humor. But wait until next year when you have the same problem, for which the meds don't have an answer. Read some of the other blog/chat boards about others who aren't getting relief.
    Please do let us know if what your doctor recommended works for you. I wish you well but I wouldn't bet a nickle on your success.

  19. Not to worry, barrell; it was a 10-day trial attempt, after which an appointment with a specialist was made. That appt. still pending; ENT's busy guys. Will post next "attempt" at solution.

  20. Anonymous5:39 AM

    Oh god that's to funny I did the excercise and exhaled thru my left ear, which by the way is the one bothering me. The first time nothing now it makes a funny sound. it wasnt too bad when I started the excercise but now its tickling and bugging


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